In a relationship for four years, a 56-year-old man,
faced with a foot amputation due to diabeteshoped to obtain the unwavering support of his partner, explains Between us. Yet instead of the expected comfort, he found himself facing a distant and rarely present companion, accentuating his feeling of abandonment and vulnerability. This disturbing situation was told anonymously to Deidre, the newspaper’s advisor. The Sun.
The amputation of his foot was a monumental shock for this man who had to face a long and painful convalescence.
Unfortunately, instead of receiving support from his girlfriend, he was confronted with her growing indifference. Despite their years together, his partner rarely visited him in hospital and, when she was there, she was constantly absorbed in her phone.
“She does the bare minimum.”
The situation did not improve much after returning home. He quickly noticed that his partner seemed to have complete disinterest in him and his needs. “She does the bare minimum to take care of me“, he lamented, disillusioned by her behavior. When she was not at work, she spent her time with her friends or texting, leaving little room for their relationship.
His suspicions grew when he began to believe she was having an affair with another man. When he tried to discuss the situation with her, he encountered a hostile reaction, to say the least. “She gets upset, says I’m paranoid because of all the painkillers I’m taking“, he revealed, distraught and desperate.
“That doesn’t mean she’s cheating on you.”
Amputation of a limb is a difficult ordeal, both physically and psychologically. This 56-year-old man, in the process of rebuilding, felt vulnerable and in search of reassurance. The emotional distance from his partner only accentuated his insecurities and his feeling of loneliness.
Counselor Deidre tried to offer him some comfort and advice. She stressed that his partner’s attitude did not necessarily mean that she was cheating on him, but rather that there was an underlying problem in their relationship. “This doesn’t mean she is cheating on you, but shows that something is wrong in your relationship“, she analyzed.
“Try talking to him again.”
For Deidre, it is crucial to approach this situation with empathy and openness. She suggests trying a new conversation with your partner, focusing on your feelings and fears. “Try talking to him again. Ask how she feels and see if you can get close again“, she advised.
This situation highlights the difficulties couples face when one partner goes through a major ordeal. Limb amputation is an upheaval that requires unconditional support, which this man unfortunately did not find with his partner. The lack of support and understanding from his partner exacerbated this man’s distress, making his recovery even more difficult.
Today he finds himself having to face not only his new physical realitybut also to a relationship that seems to deteriorate a little more every day.
