Subject to pressure and very high expectations, elders also have many responsibilities.
According to a study published in October 2024, they are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression than other siblings.
Seniors also suffer from imposter syndrome and are extreme perfectionists.
Being the eldest of siblings is not an easy position. On the one hand, firstborns endure their parents’ educational attempts and errors, but they also experience great pressure. The older ones find themselves carrying great responsibilities and sometimes great expectations on their shoulders.
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Mental health: do you suffer from big sister syndrome?
Greater risk of depression in older children
According to a study published by Epic Research (new window)those who are considered role models for cadets and youngest children are more psychologically vulnerable. Indeed, according to American researchers who studied 182,477 children born between 2009 and 2016, the oldest have “48% more likely to be diagnosed with anxiety at their eight-year-old health visit compared to children born second or later“. They add that older children are also 35% more likely “of being diagnosed with depression compared to those born second or later”.
Researchers have also been interested in only children and the findings are almost the same as for older children: “Only children are 42% more likely to suffer from anxiety and 38% more likely to suffer from depression compared to children born second or later“.
The eldest, a mental journey strewn with pitfalls
“With the eldest, there is a lot of trial and error in parenting: new parents are learning how to raise their firstborn and don’t yet have the knowledge they will bring to raising their younger ones children“, explained Altheresa Clark, a social worker specializing in mental health in the Huffington Post. Often, seniors therefore face “extreme” parental systems and models, with strict rules and very high expectations. As they grow up, they develop perfectionist personalities and “if they don’t live up to what their parents expected of them, they are very, very hard on themselves“.
Another problem: seniors frequently suffer from impostor feelings. Due to their very strict upbringing and very high expectations, they never feel like they are good enough and have difficulty accepting their success. Older children can also find themselves with a lot of responsibilities, including caring for siblings. They are responsible for preparing meals, helping with homework, putting the little ones to bed. Duties which normally fall to adults and which can weigh on the shoulders of elders, particularly minors. This can lead to “big sister syndrome” which results in anxiety, an inability to relax and a tendency to always have to take care of others before themselves.
Finally, the elderly find it much more difficult to talk about their discomfort and tend to hide their mental health problems, because according to family therapist Aparna Sagaram, interviewed by the Huffington Post“they feel like they can’t rely on others for support, or that they have to figure everything out on their own“.
