Do you know what makes emotionally intelligent people happier? No matter your accomplishments, whether it’s the number of degrees, skills mastered, challenges faced, or successes achieved, it’s likely that you find yourself facing the same emotional challenges as a child. This is why so many people remain emotionally underdeveloped and ill-prepared to deal with the complexities of adult life.
People are often chained by their beliefs, habits, thought patterns, relationships, addictions, and even destructive misconceptions.
It is this control that causes so much suffering such as anxiety, depression, addictions, fear, burnout, and unhappiness. This situation hinders people’s ability to live truly free, bold and authentic lives.
Emma Seppälä, a psychologist specializing in the study of emotional intelligence, highlights the importance of a skill she calls “emotional sovereignty” in people with a high emotional quotient. This skill involves the ability to manage one’s emotions elegantly, rather than avoiding, repressing, suppressing, or holding on to them.
When you know how to manage your emotions, you can harness them to create creativity, energy, deeper relationships, and be happier and more fulfilled.
Why does emotional sovereignty make emotionally intelligent people happier?
Emotions exert a significant influence on all aspects of our lives – from concentration to physical and mental health, including personal and professional relationships. When we fail to manage our emotions, it impacts not only our own well-being, but also that of those around us. Stress, anxiety or anger can impair our ability to concentrate or remember.
Have you noticed that your inability to manage your negative emotions leads you to hurt the people you love the most and want to hurt the least? Ironically, when you try to suppress or avoid your emotions, they last longer. In trying to calm your emotions, you might adopt harmful habits such as seeking comfort in alcohol, food, social media, work, among others. You might end up feeling worse.
However, by facing all the experiences that life offers you, positive or painful, you develop deep wisdom. By observing your emotions with compassion and patience, you realize that they pass more quickly.
You then become happier, braver, more resilient and freer. The certainty that you can overcome any obstacle strengthens your sense of sovereignty.
What you will gain with emotional sovereignty
To regain your emotional sovereignty, you must be willing to practice feeling your feelings and being self-aware, honest, and courageous. Although it can be a challenge, the benefits are worth it. You will reap many benefits, including:
Better physical and mental health : Suppressing emotions can harm our mental well-being. It can even affect our physical health. By learning to treat them rather than repress them, you will promote the well-being of your mind and body.
Healthier relationships : Others might be surprised that you no longer suppress your emotions. They might even be a little uncomfortable at first. But your relationships will evolve towards a more authentic dynamic. By understanding and accepting your own emotions, you will be more empathetic towards others. This will promote deeper and less judgmental connections.
Lightness : By managing your emotions constructively, you won’t feel as overwhelmed by their weight. Freed from the burden of repressed feelings, you will experience a feeling of lightness which will promote a happier state of mind.
Courage : Opening up fully to your emotions takes courage, but it also builds your resilience and endurance. By cultivating this ability, you develop courage over time.
How to take the first step towards emotional sovereignty and becoming happier emotionally intelligent people?
Notice how quickly children move through their emotions. A fit of anger breaks out: they cry bitterly. They express their distress to the fullest. Then, two minutes later, it’s like nothing happened. They regain their calm.
What makes children so emotionally resilient? They feel their feelings and let the emotions flow through them.
You might feel a strong urge to run away. You might also want to resist, because you don’t like to be uncomfortable, let alone in pain. But this is precisely when you need to be patient, kind to yourself and tolerant. Imagine emotions as waves washing over you, holding you underwater for a moment before letting you rise to the surface to breathe fresh air again.
Note that fully experiencing an emotion does not necessarily require expressing it to the fullest. Indeed, it can be detrimental to your relationships if you let your anger or frustration explode. It is best to wait until you are calm to communicate.
The key is to be aware and understand your emotions, process and digest them before communicating. This will allow you to interact in a more constructive manner once these steps have been completed.
