Tell your story to raise awareness among women about the disease. This is Alice Detollenaere’s mission. At the end of 2019, the former Miss Burgundy was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer, which could be treated without chemotherapy but with a double mastectomy. So many challenges that she was able to overcome thanks to the love and support of her companion Camille Lacourt, figure in the new prevention campaign of the Ruban Rose association, of which she is one of the godmothers. With her kindness and impressive strength, the model continues to share her journey to lift taboos, inform, support and call for screening. At the start of Pink October, Alice Detollenaere offered a life lesson to Gala.fr. Encounter.
Gala.fr: You are godmother of the Ruban Rose association. What is your main mission?
Alice Detollenaere : Every year, I make myself available for the Ruban Rose association. We are three godmothers with Évelyne Dhéliat and Claudia Tagbo. My role is to report my experience. I was fortunate to be diagnosed with breast cancer quite early. My story, even if it was a difficult stage, is all the more beautiful because I was able to heal and have my child. I was able to bounce back well enough to be able to deliver a message to other women. This year, it is my partner Camille Lacourt who is the prevention figure for accompanying people.
Gala.fr: What is the message you want to convey with this campaign?
Alice Detollenare : If there are a lot of sick people in France, there are even more people accompanying them. Certainly, when we are sick, we carry the illness physically. On the other hand, many of us carry it psychologically. It is also important that those accompanying them feel represented. They are pillars of the equation. It wasn’t necessarily easy for Camille to be the face of this campaign because it’s a subject that is not easy for us. Then we said to ourselves that it would do so much good for people. If we don’t do it, who else will? As Camille talks a lot about mental health and sport, it made sense. We are so happy to be able to participate in this campaign together.
Gala.fr: Despite the numerous campaigns, we feel that it is still very taboo. Do you have this impression?
Alice Detollenaere : You are completely right, it is very paradoxical. On the one hand, research is progressing. We reassure women a little better. On the other hand, we have a step back on screening. There are fewer and fewer women who are going to get tested. Commissioned by the former Minister of Health, the Ruban Rose association launched an operation to understand why screening is so poor in certain regions and why the approach is not successful. It’s important to think about all of this.
“Faced with illness, we prioritize certain things”
Gala.fr: How do you want to help women in their fight against cancer?
Alice Detollenaere : By telling them my story. I know this is very difficult to hear, especially in our society, but when you are really sick, the breast is not very important. It’s not a vital organ. We are going to rebuild it and we are going to overcome something that we did not think about in terms of femininity. Whether in the press or in magazines, we must continue to explain breast cancer. It’s a real responsibility to get this message across.
Gala.fr: In January 2020, you revealed that you had breast cancer. How did you learn about this illness?
Alice Detollenaere : When I went to a doctor to do the palpation, he couldn’t find the lump. So I took his finger. He asked me questions and asked if I had any family history. My mother’s sister had breast cancer and even died from it. Heredity is really important. I didn’t know what a real predisposition was. If it is transmitted and you have it, you can develop breast cancer. Like most people, I thought it skipped generations. This is false. After doing this palpation, we received the diagnosis in his office. He was as shocked as I was. The day before my operation with him, I canceled everything and went to the Institut Curie. My little inner voice told me to get a second opinion. I was immediately told about this heredity and about removing my entire breast.
Gala.fr: Why did you initially choose to keep quiet about the illness?
Alice Detollenaere : I said to myself: everything in its time. A year earlier, I had lost my father to cancer which had spread. Years ago, she was my aunt. We were truly choked with grief. When I found out about my cancer, I told myself I was going to shock my family. I told myself that I couldn’t take their pain. So we had to find the courage to do it. Then, we get past all that, it’s liberating and it feels good. In any case, it’s a bomb.
Gala.fr: Were you afraid of dying?
Alice Detollenaere : Yes. In any case, as soon as you arrive at the doctor’s office and he tells you about your cancer and how it’s progressing, you don’t know what sauce you’re going to be in for. It lasts for weeks. This is truly the hardest and most trying part. At that moment, I believed that I was going to live the same story as my aunt, that I was no longer going to have hair and that I was going to have to fight for ten years. Once we know what the protocol is going to be, we roll up our sleeves and get going.
Gala.fr: You had a masectomy, has that changed your relationship to your femininity?
Alice Detollenaere : Complement ! When the breast reconstruction surgeon told me that the breast was going to be removed, I collapsed. She immediately reassured me by telling me that we would give ourselves a chance to rebuild it directly. She then asked me if I was ready to take that. I told her that no one cares about my femininity, it doesn’t matter (she laughs). We prioritize certain things. Ultimately, femininity takes a back seat. I told myself that things would never go back to the way they were before, you had to accept and make peace with yourself.
Gala.fr: Speaking of femininity, has the illness had consequences on your sentimental and sexual life?
Alice Detollenaere : Yes, it disrupts many aspects. You really need to communicate with your partner. By telling Camille that I was afraid that he would no longer find me beautiful, I had never felt so naked. I had so many fears. The worst thing that could happen to me is that he doesn’t love me anymore. When I told him about it, he laughed. He told me that even if I no longer had breasts or hair, he would still love me.
“My partner really supported me in the face of illness”
Gala.fr: Besides, your companion was a great support during this ordeal. How did he support you?
Alice Detollenaere : It did me good not to feel him panicking. He was always very confident and kept telling me everything would be fine. It helped me a lot to put things into perspective. I think his champion mentality had a lot to do with it. He really supported me in the face of illness. Plus, at that time, we didn’t have any money at all. It was very difficult for Camille in her post-career. He was fooled by a lot of people. In addition, if I canceled my first operation, it was because I could not afford to pay for it. To tell myself that I was bringing him one more misfortune, when he already had a lot of misfortune, it was difficult. Despite everything, he stayed by my side. It was my pillar. We got past that and I said to myself that it was really the right one.
Gala.fr: However, the illness has put your relationship to the test, how did you manage to avoid separation ?
Alice Detollenaere : It was after the illness. At no point do we say to ourselves that it will be more difficult than the previous one. However, there is the disillusionment of not returning to one’s previous life and we don’t understand why. Suddenly, we feel guilty. It’s a vicious circle. It was from there that our relationship was put to the test because it was a very bizarre psychological setup. I needed to test my relationship. Since he had stayed with me because I was sick, I wondered if he would also stay with me as I got better. It was very weird. So we went to see a therapist because we didn’t understand what was happening.
Gala.fr: You have been together for six years, when did you realize that you were meant to be together?
Alice Detollenaere : I knew he would be the man of my life at that time. I told myself that if we had survived this ordeal, we could resist a lot of things.
Gala.fr : Your son Marius was born a year after your cancer. Has this motherhood been like a glimmer of hope after your fight against illness?
Alice Detollenaere : As I was diagnosed early and was lucky enough not to have to go through chemotherapy, there was no problem having a child. When I was told that I had cancer, Camille and I were planning to start our family. So, once cured, we resumed the project and then the course of a new life with a very particular flavor. We didn’t sleep for two years but we never had a fight. It was even more beautiful.
Gala.fr: What kind of mother are you?
Alice Detollenaere : I think I’m a cool mom who composes a lot. My son is a bit of a little terrorist. Like Camille, I am a little shocked because we often wonder what to do (she laughs). We use every ploy to get him to do what he has to do. On the other hand, he’s a complete ball of love.
Gala.fr: Do you have any little mother/son rituals?
Alice Detollenaere : Every evening, I read him a story and we decide who we’re making out for. We make around fifteen for the teacher or for Oui-Oui. Finally, we have plenty of rituals.
Gala.fr: You are also Jazz’s mother-in-law. What are your relationships?
Alice Detollenaere : When I met Jazz, she was six years old. She is a very gentle and docile child. She never does anything stupid. They tell him: “Sweetheart, you need to go take a shower.”. She goes there without complaining. We’re very close like I am half the time.
Gala.fr: Even withex of your companion, Valérie Bègueyou have a great bond. Did you expect to form a close-knit blended family?
Alice Detollenaere : Valérie is truly an extraordinary woman who I adore. She immediately trusted me with her daughter. I find that very strong and courageous, especially since today I don’t know how I would react if I had to entrust my child to someone else. She had this intelligence that I find incredible. From the start, she made sure that everything went as smoothly as possible for her daughter. Through Jazz, we found a very strong friendship. So I didn’t expect to form this blended family even in my wildest dreams. If it could be like that for everyone, that would be great.
Gala.fr: You seem fully fulfilled and in love. What do you hope for the years to come?
Alice Detollenaere : I wish our children to be the most fulfilled and happy. And then, with my partner, I hope that we always find a balance between mental health and physical health. I think it’s the most important and helps us move forward in life. When you find balance, you find happiness.
Photo credits: Alice Detollenaere
