the firefighter reveals the weight of the uniform in a book

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So, how are you? This sentence, Matthew Josse hear it frequently today. Probably too much compared to yesterday. In an astonishing book, Save without perishing, the forty-year-old talks about his job as a firefighter, which he has been doing for 20 years in Saint-Nazaire (Loire-Atlantique). And above all how this choice impacted his lifehis family, his health. Without us realizing it.

Going Beyond “John Wayne Syndrome”

A firefighter talking about psychological difficulties in his profession, the fact is already rare. That he emphasizes the management of emotions, without sparing either him or his corporation in which the “John Wayne syndrome” reigns supreme, is even more so. Although he gives examples of intervention in his book, Matthieu Josse does not in fact make them the center of gravity.

Bringing them to life was not my goal, there is often nothing extraordinary. I wanted to focus on the emotions.

The internal journey was not easy. Seven months of writing, due to a “combination of circumstances”: a back operation, the diagnosis of an autoimmune disease and an intervention. Two teenagers electrocuted in a station in Montoir-de-Bretagne in October 2022. Matthieu Josse is part of the team that arrives on site. He will leave a piece of himself there.

The concept of post-traumatic stress

“All of this combined gave the beginning of 2023 the most difficult period of my life.” The professional is on sick leave. Start seeing a therapist.

I kept reliving this intervention. I was losing control, with infinite sadness.

He learns the concepts of post-traumatic stress. Also understands that the shock, however strong it was, was only the trigger.

A “backpack” in which trauma accumulates

“I had been suffering unconsciously for much longer. With the publication of the book, some colleagues spoke to me about the bizarre reactions they may have in their daily lives. It’s also linked to what we wear every day.” The firefighter compares this to “a backpack” in which professionals store, little by little, their injuries and trauma. Until it becomes too heavy to carry.

Dehumanization

Thanks to writing, Matthieu Josse was able to break down “the barriers we put on ourselves. No, it’s not normal to take risks and fear for your life.” By distancing his experiences, his choices and his reactions, he managed to erase the “world dichotomy” that governed his life. No more dehumanization to better cope with everyday life, the Nazairian has finally found himself. With all the same a fragile balanceand questions that remain unanswered: why this profession? How to protect yourself? How does this influence those close to him?

This is where the book proves to be stronger than a testimony and in which many people practicing an intervention profession can recognize themselves. And to whom we probably don't ask the question enough: so, how are you?

Save without perishingpublished by Bateau vert et blanc, €15. Dedication this Saturday, November 2 at the Espace culturelle Leclerc in Saint-Nazaire, from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. and from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.

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