Being a grandparent is a role filled with love, memories and often desires to do well. But when it comes to giving advice on children’s education, It is sometimes preferable to think twice before speaking. On Tiktok, Deedee Moore, herself a grandmother and creator of the @Morethangrand account, offers an approach full of wisdom: asking yourself three questions before making a parental suggestion.
1. “I was asked for my opinion?” »»
As precious as your advice is, if it has not been requested, it may be poorly welcomed. “If the parents did not explicitly ask you for your opinion, they may not be ready to receive it”explains Deedee Moore. Even if the intention is good, Better to wait for a green light. The desire to help can easily be perceived as an intrusion.
2. Is it really a security question?
There are situations where to speak is necessary – when it comes to child safety, of course. But not all subjects are in this category. That the baby does not wear socks in a living room at 19 ° C is not a vital danger. On the other hand, if you notice a poorly installed car seat or a product recalled for security reasons, you can report it with tact and benevolence. A sentence of the type: “Here, I recently read that the security clip should be a little higher” can make all the difference.
3. Is it to help … or to be right?
The third question is undoubtedly the most difficult to ask: Am I really there to help or is it my need to be right-or even control-who speaks? This introspection requires humility. But it helps define many tensions and prevent remarks, even harmless, become a source of conflicts. Because basically, young parents want to feel supported above all, not tried.
DEEDEE MOORE RECEIVE it with accuracy: knowing when and how to share your experience can transform the relationship with your adult children, and Strengthen family ties. The grandparents are precious. But to be the allies that families need, sometimes you have to know how to fade … and wait until we come and get their lights.
