What is orgasm?
“Orgasm is the highest point in sexuality. It can be achieved through stimulation, whether autonomous or shared. So it can be through caresses, through the imagination, including fantasy, and also penetration. With what I hear here at the office, this is often a goal. While not every sexual encounter necessarily ends in an orgasm. And that’s precisely what can be discussed. »
Are there several ways to experience orgasm?
“Each individual is unique. Based on this principle, every woman experiences her orgasm. I think that when we're in a relationship, we expect the other to have an orgasm, because it would devalue us if we didn't. This is the projection we have towards our partners. This can create tensions in the long term. If you can say things, I think a partner can definitely hear that. But communication remains extremely important. It's fundamental. »
Why do women aim to achieve it?
“It’s a rather masculine thing. Some experience orgasm much later than a boy. For example, there are 40-year-old women who have just discovered what orgasm is. Often exploration has been hindered by family beliefs and what is said about women's sexuality. And I really feel like it's a competition in the male-female relationship. There is this belief that penetration will lead to orgasm but this is often not the case. This is because the clitoris is not stimulated enough. It is only through him that orgasm can fundamentally be achieved. What's interesting about the sexual relationship is the journey, it's the pleasure we have together. If there is an orgasm, that's great. And if there isn't, that's also great. »
Where does this somewhat preconceived image that society has come from?
“We are in a patriarchal society. At the beginning of humanity, it is rather the woman who is goddess. Men think that women bring life. We are on a rather matriarchal system. We're all creative and we've had the spotlight stolen a bit. Because men have realized that ejaculation allows fertilization. This is where the power turns. It's always a question of power when you're in the race, in the competition. But orgasm is not a competition. The female orgasm is not something that belongs to men. »
Does pornography impact orgasm vision?
“Yes, pornography still does a lot of harm to people, because they identify by saying that it is the norm. Porn is still a lot of drugs, it's chemsex. They add products to ejaculations, for example, so that it looks like a cow's udder, but that doesn't exist. It's almost a failure of the body. And screens are a scourge among young people. And it can start very early because the first pornographic images are usually around 7 years old now. It's very, very young. Especially since 7 years old is the age of conscience. »
Should learning also take place through school?
“I believe that in 2021, a law was passed so that relationship and sexuality education is integrated into classes. But this is not being followed at all, because we are faced with a lack of budget at the school, middle and high school level. And we trust people who are not trained. But education about sexuality and relationships with others is fundamental for our societies. »
How can we reduce the drama and ensure that the woman does not feel stuck in this vision?
“It’s speech and education. As adults, we educate our girls and boys about relationships beyond sexuality. Initially, even already young at 6-7 years old. There are books which are very well done and which explain things to children in the right words. What is the relationship between a boy and a girl? What is my body? My body, no one touches it, because it is mine. I don't touch anyone else's. We really have to put things into perspective. Learning what consent is means learning what my body is. When I am aware of my body, I am aware of the other too. And that only involves the education of children and teenagers. Once children and teenagers are educated, they are inevitably more respectful adults. »
