Americans celebrate Thanksgiving this Thursday. In many families, the election of Donald Trump was a breaking point.
Jeff's voice trembles: “My parents don’t want me.” For the first time, they did not invite him for Thanksgiving, an essential family celebration in the United States, because he did not vote for Donald Trump three weeks ago. The parents of the 59-year-old real estate agent, who prefers not to give his last name for fear of never being able to see his family again, swear by the Republican. Married to a man, Jeff has progressive values and believes in a more inclusive society. “Trump tore my family in two.”
His brother cut ties five years ago. “He thinks we should sentence homosexuals to death.“And his parents asked him not to make the trip between Washington, where he lives, and Florida this weekend. “They think I'm not patriotic enough because I don't support Trump. They don't want to talk to me. It's terrifying.”
“Trump is a liar”
Every fourth Thursday in November, Americans gather in the family cocoon on the occasion of the sacrosanct Thanksgiving holiday and share a traditional stuffed turkey. Jeff's case is far from isolated. Deb Miedema, 50, lives in Minnesota, in the northern United States. She has been preparing turkey for over 20 years for the big family reunion but this year she decided to cancel the festivities. “I can't imagine preparing a meal for 40 people, half of whom are OK with this situation (…). Trump is a liar, a criminal, a horrible person, and they have no problem with that , they even agree with him!”
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On November 5, she voted for Democrat Kamala Harris. Donald Trump's victory with more than 76 million votes, or half of the electorate, still has the effect on him.with a slap.” “This year, we are seeing real tension within families. American society today is so divided that many have adopted the mindset: 'You're with us, or you're against us.'” explains Laurie Kramer, professor of psychology at Northeastern University in Boston. “In common perception, family moments should be joyful, full of love, protective. So when the family becomes a place of tension, we can quickly feel depressed, alone, isolated,” adds Laurie Kramer.
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Politics, a subject to avoid
“It’s hard, very hard”says Ana, 31 years old. For Thanksgiving, the young woman employed by a Boston university normally goes to her grandmother's near Philadelphia, but this time she has decided against it. “I come from a big Italian family, with 18 aunts and uncles. All my uncles love Trump and I can't listen to them make jokes about what's going on and see them raise my cousins with these ideas.” Ana is not her real name : she asked to use a pseudonym so that her grandmother would not learn the real reason for her absence. “I told him I was sick.”
“I feel alone, very alone. It’s strange to refuse to participate in this big celebration, which is a tradition for everyone. But for me, it’s much too close to the election,” adds Ana, who will celebrate Thanksgiving with friends in New York. Spencer Roberts, 35, is in the same situation. The last time he went home, the left-leaning Republican told his parents he thought “some of their ideas were malicious.” “It created a lot of tension between us in the family.”
In a tense America, more than 71% of Americans will try to avoid talking about politics during these reunions, according to a survey carried out by the American channel CBS. “You have to accept that everyone is different and find a way to accept these differences to preserve your family relationships. Otherwise, it is not good for families or for individuals,” underlines Professor Laurie Kramer.
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(upday with AFP)
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