Barry Bonds 73 home runs in one season. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin successfully walked on the moon. Usain Bolt runs the 100m in 9.58 seconds. Move over all those impressive human feats that defied both gravity and the limits of humanity, because famous OnlyFans porn star Bonnie Blue did something arguably more difficult on Saturday. Her biggest competition in the game, Lily Phillips, had already planned to achieve 1,000 men in 24 hours this year:
Bonnie raised her glass and slept with 1,057 men in 12 hours with only a maximum break of 3 minutes in between. Luckily for us, we don’t have images of the aftermath like the war zone Lily Phillips showed us on her 101-man-in-a-day tour. Look, I agree with a vast majority of you that this is indicative of how far we have fallen as a society and the sense of impending doom that precedes us. But I also have to tip my metaphorical hat to her in what is certainly a feat, and she went even further than necessary:
Someone did the math assuming no pause and we rounded the calculation to 40.9 seconds per person:
Coming home and telling your friends that you were number 1057 or 2 or anywhere in between must be a good way to recap your day. Humans have a knack for challenging things that otherwise seemed impossible, and my best guess is that we’re going to see a John Cena/The Rock-style showdown of the ages where the record just keeps getting broken. Ovechkin chases targets, and Lily Phillips and Bonnie Blues chase bodies. Glenny may have left Barstool but is keeping the coveted OF Only Stans podcast on our network and I think he has his first guest of the new year. Anyway, that’s enough internet for one day.
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