Constantly trying to be optimistic and positive would prevent us from welcoming and managing our negative emotions. According to studies, this avoidance mechanism then harms our development and our well-being.
« No bad vibes ”, hear “no negative thoughts”. Here is a typical slogan of forced positivity. Today’s society pushes us to escape discomfort and emptiness through stimuli like this. However, so-called “negative” emotions are essential to our development and well-being.
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“A balm for the spirit”
“Managing complex feelings such as anger, sadness or frustration is, in the long run, much more practical than sweeping them under the rug”assures the Spanish media The Country.
Always looking at the positive side of things would “a balm for the spirit”continues the newspaper. “The idea of a forced optimistic interpretation of our experiences coupled with the suppression of negative emotions can be very harmful and, in many cases, disabling and paternalistic”explains to The Country the psychologist and psychotherapist Alejandra de Pedro González.
“Real emotions are ignored”
For her, pain is an essential human condition for growing and moving forward. “When the search for positivity becomes obsessive and all-consuming, real emotions are ignored”she says.
The psychologist explains that when we give an emotion the opportunity to be felt, it arises, is processed, and then fades away. On the other hand, when we repress emotion, we run the risk of it remaining entrenched for longer. “So a person who does not allow themselves to express their anger, because they believe it is wrong to feel angry, may become constantly irritable, or a person who blocks their crying because they are embarrassed may feel depressed »she explains.
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Digital tools to avoid negative emotions
According to Alejandra de Pedro González, we live in a time of “great emotional avoidance”in which we avoid any unpleasant emotion, in particular thanks to digital tools such as smartphones or TV which play a role of “emotional patch”. “It is difficult for us to be bad and it is even more difficult to communicate that we are bad”adds the psychologist.
A study published in March 2024 in the journal Cognitive Science and Human Development highlighted the importance of recognizing toxic positivity as a critical issue that affects people’s emotional well-being. With the rise of the “good vibes only” mentality, people would feel obligated to be constantly happy.
“Too optimistic” thinking could harm us
Another research, published in February 2022 in the scientific journal Natureexplores how social pressure to be happy is detrimental to psychological well-being when we inevitably experience negative emotions, particularly in countries with high levels of happiness.
In an article, the American media Forbes ensures that thought “too optimistic” could harm us subtly. He first cites a “overestimation of reality and an obscuration of the truth”the “risk of living in future fantasies” and also that of “remember only the good things and forget the teachings”.
The Country concludes by saying that expressions such as “be positive” or “everything will be fine”, which are present everywhere in our daily lives, whether on social networks, in videos or even on objects like cups or water bottles , “encourage blurring the line between healthy and toxic positivity”. So, what are we waiting for to be sad?
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