The educational psychologist Bruno Humbeeck was our guest in Capital Santé. At the microphone of Caroline Fontenoy, he addresses a vast subject which concerns a lot of parents and children today: blended families.
There are more than before. Blended families are more common these days and this complicates things for the members of these families, argues Bruno Humbeeck: “Previously, you had a sibling group made up of your brothers and sisters in a couple who didn’t move, it was the nuclear family. It wasn’t necessarily simple, but now you have added pieces that you have to learn to live with. What we pompously call ‘living together’ is not something that is imposed but that is built. However, parents have very few tools to do this.“
The educational psychologist continues: “Everyone will have to find their place in a group, sometimes continuously, sometimes temporarily. For example, it is important that everyone is respected in the emotions they experience. This is true democracy, the right that we recognize for everyone to experience emotions that are different from others.“
Finding the right timing
A question frequently asked by separated parents is when to introduce a new partner to the children and inform the former spouse. To this, the specialist responds: “From the moment your marital history has sufficient consistency for him to be part of your life. And that only concerns the one who enters into a marital affair.”
And this is the story of the adult, specifies the educational psychologist: “From the moment this construction has taken on sufficient substance for it to become part of my life, I must at some point be able to discuss it with my own children, allowing them to find a place vis-à-vis of this new partner and also allowing this partner to find a place.“
Bruno Humbeeck also addresses “self-alienation“: “Let’s imagine that one of the parents continues to be very unhappy because of the breakup while the other member of the couple falls in love because of another person. Self-alienation is the child’s tendency to take the side of the parent who suffers the most and to tell himself that he cannot take pleasure in the other parent. By loyalty.“
Also found in this videocast:
- Parental influence
- Learning about fraternity
- Rules to respect… depending on the territory
- The difference between rules and standards
- …
Bruno Humbeeck blended families health capital educational psychologist
Belgium
