You tried to get through December ignoring the decorated shop windows, the fairy lights, the playlists, the Whamaggedon, the Secret Santa, the company toasts and everything else: now, howeverChristmas has really arrived. And you don't even feel the shadow of the famous magic of the holidays. Instead, you feel a strange mix of anxiety and sadness. No, you're not becoming the Grinch: you are experiencing the Christmas Blueslto the melancholy of the end of year holidays.
Let's dispel a myth. Although films, TV series and songs continue to tell us the fairy tale of the happy family at the table, the kiss under the mistletoe and the happy ending, the Christmas is not a joyous time for everyone. On the contrary, it can be a complicated or stressful period for various reasons. In this period it becomes worse the sense of loneliness of those who do not have a family or of those who live far from friends and relatives. Or of those who have suffered a mourningis going through a separation or experiencing a difficult change. We often forget that theemphasis placed on food – between dinners, family lunches and work events – it is a huge stressor for those suffering from eating disorders.
Then there is the performative aspect of the holidays: finding the perfect gifts, setting the perfect table, cooking the perfect roast. What we call “holiday magic” arises largely from invisible and ignored work of those who took care of making a list of gifts, buying them, wrapping them, taking part in recitals and plays, ordering the shopping, cleaning and decorating the house, cooking for twenty people. And yes, in most cases it is a burden that falls on women.
The family is only apparently a safe haven. We're not just talking about barrage of unsolicited questions from relatives – when are you getting married? And the work? And a son? Do you know that your cousin has already bought a house? – as much as we would gladly do without it. The family can easily transform into a place of recriminations, silences and resentments that are kept quiet precisely because “it's Christmas” and therefore never openly addressed. The TV series The Bear (Disney+) offers a terrible and lucid portrait of a family in crisis in the Christmas episode: after a crescendo of tensions, the dinner ends with knives flying. Not just metaphorically. If your stomach tightened while watching Donna Berzatto (Jamie Lee Curtis) scream in the kitchen, it's probably because you saw an exaggerated dynamic in it, sure, but still vaguely familiar. No, the pun was not intended. In recent years we have started talking about Christmas Blues, that is, Christmas melancholy or even depression which can also lead to forms of social isolation. On Spotify, mirror of the times, you can find various playlists with unmistakable titles “Sad Christmas”. Giving a name to this feeling is one way to break the taboo of “happiness at all costs” and to shine a spotlight on a very common condition.
According to a survey conducted by Ikono RomaIn fact, one in four Italians suffers from it. 24% of those interviewed feel melancholy during the Christmas holidays due to the social pressure of having to be happy (34%); for memories linked to loved ones who are no longer with us (29%) and finally for dfamily agreements (14%). For this reason, an increasingly convinced niche of people takes advantage of these weeks to go away, breaking the moral imperative of “partiing with your family” and treating themselves to a trip. Possibly far, far away. But even those who remain can still set limits to other people's expectations and obligations, learning to listen to their own needs and carve out spaces for relaxation and enjoyment. Always keeping in mind that Christmas Day also lasts 24 hours: unfortunately or fortunately, these holidays too will pass.
