The entrepreneur: the mechanism is always the same: erosion of self-esteem, then insults and finally violence
Sara Battaglia is a young stylist and entrepreneur. She collaborates with Ferragamo and comes from a family of artists, gallery owners, set designers. And she is involved in an anti-violence project: a white “Red Collar” shirt with a red collar made in a laboratory where women who have been victims of mistreatment work. Today in an interview with Matteo Persivale for Corriere della Sera she explains that she also suffered violence from an ex-boyfriend. And he explains that the most subtle aspect of the issue is “psychological violence, making you feel wrong”.
Alessandra Kustermann
«When I met Dr. Alessandra Kustermann from the Milan Polyclinic, an exceptional person who helped me a lot, she and the heroic lawyers who work with her pro bono, listened to me and simply told me “it's not good”. I understood that the mechanism in which I was trapped is always the same, with some variations. The relationship begins, then the erosion of self-esteem begins and the insults arrive, increasingly cruel, designed to make you collapse your certainties. From then on, getting to increasingly louder blows is only a matter of time. Why don't women immediately say enough is enough? Because it's a bad spell: they convince you that you deserve the beatings, and indeed that you've taken few of them (as I've heard myself say). In my case, first there were six months of a so-called normal relationship, followed by four and a half years of nightmare”, says Battaglia.
Awareness
According to the stylist, the most important thing is «awareness. That is fundamental. Awareness of what really happened, when you are finally able to see the situation as it is, with the eyes of those who are outside and not those who are inside. There are those who report – I did – and those who don't. Everyone must choose their own path freely. Reporting is not easy, in any case.” On Tuesday 17 December the preliminary hearing judge rejected the plea bargain request from her ex's lawyers. Who had proposed a sentence of 1 year and 10 months with a suspended sentence, 10 thousand euros in compensation in installments and a commitment to follow a therapeutic path.
«The court process continues, and that's one thing; today, however, it is even more important for me to convey the message that we must not wait for a woman to die to act, nor for mothers – or sisters – to speak for the victims. I survived: the more we talk about it, the more this taboo will be dispelled, and women will be less afraid to report. Or to escape from a violent relationship”, says Battaglia.
The rebirth
Her rebirth happens one day at a time: «Ups and downs, sometimes very happy and sometimes sad. My refuge was drawing, my imaginary room where I was, at least there, free. I'm slowly getting my life back, little by little. I used to go to sleep and pray I wouldn't wake up. I never dreamed. Just nothing, for years. Now I can start dreaming again.”
