How to overcome shock, anger, denial? All these stages that are part of mourning. How can you find the energy to do all the administrative procedures when you lose a loved one? How to move towards resignation, then reconstruction?
The Azur Oxalis association, founded in 2022 by Orlando Bernardi, aims to answer all these questions.
“So that the outlook on death changes”
The structure – which has 162 members – provides “solidarity support for people weakened by illness, old age, end of life, death and bereavement.” She offers dance, sophrology, yoga workshops, etc. support groups dedicated to bereavement, support for the organization of funerals. And for All Saints' Day, the Nice association is offering, this Sunday at 11 a.m., “a celebration of life” in the Olivaie garden in Beaulieu-sur-Mer. “ A moment filled with light and gratitude to remind us of how lucky we were to be around our departed loved ones.”.
Moments always supervised by an armada of volunteers supported by health professionals. A handful of them met in a brasserie in Nice-Nord on this rainy morning.
Looking at them, they look like a group of friends sharing steaming tea. Observing them, there is something else. A strong bond that unites them. “There is a societal commitment. I am campaigning for the way we look at death and mourning to change. These are questions that move us, they bring us back to our own finitude. There are still a lot of taboos”summarizes Sylvie. A caregiver who, with Nicole, leads the discussion groups.
Nicole is a yoga therapist and has always been involved in associations through sport. She followed training on end-of-life support. And this duo of little women deciphers the sessions. “Telling your story remains a strong, courageous act. It feels good, there is the feeling of no longer being alone. The rule is to express yourself or not.”.
The discussion groups take place at the Russia House, avenue Cyrille Besset in Nice – due to a lack of premises specific to the association. A place open, notably by Andreï. He is an honorary member.
Big guy, quiet strength, he explains: “A house is important. It’s a home, a fortress. What I like about Azur Oxalis is that the people who leave the house are enriched”.
Between the guides and the mentees, the enrichment is mutual. “In the end, we don’t know who accompanies whom”breathes one of the members of the young association. And everyone finds their place in the collective. “Every passion and skill is put to good use”said Orlando Bernardi.
Margaret developed a freedom booklet (read below). She lost her husband. For more than three years, she accompanied him. “I didn’t feel like I was a classic volunteer. My primary goal was to help volunteers. To put myself at the service of others, by offering small things”. Margaret is an expert in shiatsu. It therefore offers, among other things, sessions to members. A bit like Agata, who is a Caycedian sophrologist (1). By setting foot at Azur Oxalis, she knew “[qu’elle] was at [sa] place”.
“Welcome suffering but don’t take it”
Then, here is Véronique. She is secretary of the association and works, once a week, with her partner Marie-José, at the Lacassagne center. With her coruscating gaze, she highlights her life journey. She held the hand of her father, hospitalized at home, until the end of his life. “At the time, I knew nothing about palliative care. I always liked contact with people “, then, she has been involved in nursing homes for a long time. Today, “ we do room visits. These are patients, often isolated, who need to be listened to.”.
Marina became aware of Orlando Bernardi's association via the Russia House. “I didn’t come because I was bereaved or sick. I just wanted to support, share what I knew how to do”. Having fallen somewhat by chance into the pot of mutual aid, this sparkling adopted Niçoise questions: “But is there really a coincidence?”
Moment of hesitation. She blurts out: “I lost my grandmother in the middle of Covid, in April 2020. I was not able to accompany her or have a funeral.” In this small family, she learned by listening to the journeys of those she supported: “To welcome suffering but not take it”.
And around the table, words are repeated over and over again. Respect. Freedom. Listen. Kindness.
Andreï returns with his arms full of pastries. “Shall we share?” Laughter from the table. Marina continues: “Sharing is a very important word at Azur Ozalis”.
1. Founded by Alfonso Caycedo, psychiatrist, this sophrology is claimed to be “the most authentic, with its original methodology”.
Find out more: [email protected] To participate in discussion groups, workshops, etc.: 06.61.60.38.24. Membership is 12th per year, after trial.
Who is the founder of Azur Oxalis?
It's the president-mascot. Gathered around him, each volunteer or mentor has a word for Orlando Bernardi. The president of the Azur Oxalis association.
“I was attracted by his dynamism, his kindness,” shares Agata, volunteer.
“He knows perfectly how to surround himself with professional people,” in the opinion of Andreï, volunteer and honorary member. “With Orlando, there is a real freedom, a confidence,” comments Margaret.
In short, the president is unanimous. Before all that, this young retiree served 35 years in the Monegasque police force. “I was a staff representative, so I had a social aspect. And, I began to help a bereaved person. That's where I told myself I could contribute something. So for the police families, I took care of announcing the death to the families, helping with the organization of the funeral, etc.”
Her baby Azur Oxalis was born after an experience in the association. He wants to clarify: “We talk about very deep things but we also laugh a lot.”
Actions
– “Sharing mourning” group: they are organized every 3rd Wednesday of the month
– The freedom booklet: slices of life to offer to loved ones. Volunteers – including Margaret – collect and write down the memories of people who wish them. “They are not necessarily people at the end of their lives. These may be seniors who want to pass on their memories. The idea is to leave a mark,” comments Margaret, who offers shiatsu sessions.
– Visits to hospital services: volunteers intervene in paliative care services.
– Calls: they are done by telephone, videoconference or at home. They concern sick, elderly, end-of-life, bereaved people and their loved ones. “Moreover, this support can also extend to people weakened by the loss of physical or cognitive abilities or even an important element of their life (divorce, dismissal, etc.).”
– Workshops: dance, singing, drawing, sophrology, yoga etc.
For more information: azuroxalis.fr
Martine, accompanied then volunteer: “I thought I had nothing to say”
“I lost a lot of people I loved. It’s a time when we don’t want anything. It was a friend who told me about the association. I went there thinking I had nothing to say, just to listen. And in fact, I told my life story. It wasn't easy. I didn't know if I was going to come back. But it opened a lot of doors, it allowed me to understand certain buried things. Little by little, I realized that it did me a lot of good. There is great freedom, it’s rare.” Martine is now a volunteer, she offers, in particular, manual workshops.
It's the president-mascot. Gathered around him, each volunteer or mentor has a word for Orlando Bernardi. The president of the Azur Oxalis association.
“I was attracted by his dynamism, his kindness”shares Agata, volunteer.
“We laugh
a lot “
“He knows perfectly how to surround himself with professional people”in the opinion of Andreï, volunteer and honorary member. “With Orlando, there is a real freedom, a confidence”comments Margaret.
In short, the president is unanimous. Before all that, this young retiree served 35 years in the Monegasque police force. “I was a staff representative, so I had a social aspect. And, I started to help a bereaved person. That's where I told myself that I could contribute something. So for the police families, I took care of announcing the death to the families, helping with the organization of the funeral, etc.”.
After an experience in the association, her baby Azur Oxalis was born. “Azure, for us and oxalis because it is a plant – which looks like a clover – which grows in the rock garden, which does not need much to live. It is in flower at Easter, the feast of resurrection. Symbol of death towards life.”
He specifies: “We talk about very deep things but we also laugh a lot”.
