[COUP DE GUEULE] The “Diego Dollar”, the new dream currency

[COUP DE GUEULE] The “Diego Dollar”, the new dream currency
[COUP DE GUEULE] The “Diego Dollar”, the new dream currency

And there you have it! Dear citizens, prepare to enthusiastically welcome our brand new national currency: the “Diego Dollar”. You may not have seen it yet, but rest assured, it’s here, ready to rain down on us like an economic miracle falling from the sky, or rather, from Diego Garcia, following a lease agreement 99 years old. This little piece of island lost in the Indian Ocean could become the solution to all our financial problems.

Free medicines for all? Easy, take out some “Diego Dollars”! Old age pension of Rs 20,000? No problem. A few “Diego Dollars” will do the trick and presto, the pockets of retirees will be full!

Honestly, who would have thought that our financial salvation would come from a military base? The Chagos, which until then had only been a thorn in the diplomatic side, suddenly became Pravind Jugnauth’s treasure chest, filled with brand new “Diego Dollars”.

But, of course, our Prime Minister knew from the start that it would be enough to negotiate a good little rent with the British to transform Mauritius into an El Dorado. This is where the genius of his electoral plan lies: using this money falling from the sky – well, rather falling from Chagos – to dangle a series of scintillating promises to us.

And the best part? We don’t even have to lift a finger. The money will come by itself, quietly… A gentle flow of “Diego Dollars” flowing into our coffers.

As if this magical rain of money was not enough, we are treated to an even more joyful spectacle: the great war of political authorship of this historic agreement for the complete decolonization of the Republic of Mauritius.

Who is the real father of the “Diego Dollar”? Supporters of the PTr and the MSM clash on social networks. The Reds maintain that it was Navin Ramgoolam who launched the battle in 2010 when he was Prime Minister. Without him, it is said, we would never have seen the color of this famous note from Diego.

But be careful, the Jugnauth clan is not left out: “It is the Jugnauths – father and son – who are the real fathers of the Diego Dollar! » Now, let’s get to the election promises. Free medicines, inflated pensions and then what else? Everything seems possible with this new inexhaustible source of income!

But wait a second… doesn’t that remind you of something? Ah yes, we have already heard these promises in the past. Ah, but it’s true: this time, it’s different. This time there are the “Diego Dollars”. No more worrying about boring details like taxes or balanced budgets. And in case you’re wondering how these billions will be managed, don’t worry! The government will know what to do with this money. You can see how he already manages the country…

What if, by chance, the “Diego Dollars” ran out? Well, don’t panic. We could always ask our British friends for a little credit. After all, we are in the midst of an era of international generosity. In the meantime, enjoy the show, savor the amazing promises and dream hard.

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