A column had already been completed for this week, everything was neatly ready, when I suddenly woke up on Sunday night, drenched in sweat, and realized: Tuesday is men’s day!
That’s how it always goes. All year it’s only been about women. Who have such a hard time combining housework and work. Who receive less salary for the same work, are sexually harassed, and are underrepresented in the boardroom.
The highlight is March 8, International Women’s Day. Whereupon you are bombarded all day long with reports and studies that things have become much worse. Never even pay attention to the man.
And while there is also an International Men’s Day! So on November 19th. But it always passes silently and if anyone says anything about it, it is laughed away.
Men don’t need extra attention. They’ll be fine. “Every day is Men’s Day,” you sometimes hear. While men have it anything but easy!
They think so too, by the way. Last May, research by the EenVandaag opinion panel among 32,822 respondents showed that 40 percent of men think that they currently have it harder than women in the Netherlands!
So it’s high time to completely wipe this section clean and list all the reasons why we should seriously celebrate Men’s Day every day. They come, dear men. You deserve it.
1 That as a man you are never asked in job interviews how you will combine your family and work. While you would have loved to exchange tips with the CEO about this.
2 That you should always post photos of kitesurfing on dating apps. Cycling, or with the last fish you caught. While you would also have liked to show off your self-knotted tapestry. That you sometimes want someone to hold a door open for you, offer to pay the bill, or take you home because it is already dark.
3 That ladies always expect you to hit on her on the first date. Paying for everything, making the first move when kissing, and even more tiring: putting her against a wall – while you just wanted to talk about your ex and feelings and wanted to go home early to take a bath alone.
4 That you always have to do important jobs all by yourself. While women then get a ‘duo job’. That you never really have to perform anything at work. But looking important, sitting with your legs apart, negotiating well, bluffing and profiling yourself is often enough.
5 That if you practice mindfulness, want to take care leave for your children or do yoga, you are dismissed as soft or a wimp. While you’re also just trying to find balance.
6 That you always have to mansplain and show that you know. While you also sometimes want to say sorry and laugh off something stupid.
7 That you are no longer allowed to pinch your buttocks at conferences or stare at breasts. While there are the deepest décolletés all around you! That you should listen respectfully to that whining about the pay gap. While everyone knows that men work harder, whine less and don’t get pregnant or go through menopause.
8 That you can always have the highest say in meetings without it making much difference what you say. That everything you say makes a much more impression than if women said the same thing.
9 That you also sometimes want to show your moral ambition, in education or healthcare. But you are always expected to choose vague, difficult to explain and very boring professions such as IT, consultancy and accountancy that yield gold money and a Tesla.
10 That you never receive calls from schools if there is something wrong with your child. That, despite all the progress, you still cannot breastfeed.
11 That you are only allowed to take care of your children one day a week while she is allowed the rest of the week. That you will no longer receive any praise if you have cooked that one day. That you have to do all the chores around the house! While you know less about leaking taps, caulking and masonry than your girlfriend.
12 That there is no mirror in the sun visor above the driver’s seat, but only above the passenger seat. That you do your best every day to look nice, paying attention to hair and nails, but then no one ever says anything about it.
13 That you always have to destroy bus shelters, smash fountains and complain about shop fronts. While sometimes you just want to sit on the couch with your cat on your lap with a cup of mint tea.
14 That you always have to come during sex. And that there is little understanding if that does not work out. That you should always be in the mood! And it is not accepted that you also have a headache.
15 That there is still no contraception for men, except immediately cutting your sperm ducts. While women can choose from many forms of contraception! That you save thousands of euros every year on tampons and panty liners, while you would also love to invest in personal hygiene.
16 That every time you are about to offer to clear the conference table, it is already done by women. That you should never arrange a gift or card for a colleague who is ill or has had a baby.
17 That you always need a younger girlfriend. While you would prefer an older person who understands you better and does not necessarily want more children. That if you have given in to a second leg: they say at the schoolyard: ‘How nice that grandpa is coming to pick you up’.
Dear men, I could go on about this for hours. You still have such a long way to go. But I hope to have given you some encouragement with these handful of points. Don’t give up.
Next year there will be another Men’s Day!
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