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a mother's fight against incest and sexual violence

“One weekend when the man was away, I checked his computer to see if there were any child pornography files”Julie* tells franceinfo. She has three children, a husband, a perfect life, she says, but despite everything a suspicion settles in her mind and ends up turning her life upside down. As the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child turns 35, Wednesday November 20, 2024, experts mandated by the UN affirm: must better protect children from incest.

The figures are there: two to three children per class are victims of incest, 96% of the attackers are men. The experts, mandated by the UN, call on France to “tackling the discrimination and violence faced by mothers trying to protect their children from sexual predation“But today, mothers, like Julie, are outside the law: they accuse the father of their child of having sexually assaulted or raped him and refuse to respect the custody rights of these men, in waiting for their complaint to be processed.

In the case of Julie, who spoke to franceinfo, the police found more than 10,000 photos and videos in the computer of her ex-husband, a school teacher. He was sentenced to a one-year suspended prison sentence, 24 months of care obligations and a lifetime ban on working with minors. “This conviction protected other people's children, but it did not protect mine“, she sums up.

During these two years of obligation of care, the father can in theory only see his children in the presence of a third party. But on the youngest's 3rd birthday, the nursery calls Julie to report some worrying comments.

“He said spontaneously: 'Dad is mean, he caresses me where I don't want'. I refused to leave the children with him. The man files a complaint every time I don't represent the children to him.”

The mother of three children also filed a complaint for sexual assault on a minor. But a few months later, her ex-husband once again has the right to be alone with his children. Julie let her son go on vacation with his father and his paternal grandmother last July. Upon returning from this stay, Julie received a new call from the nursery and a new testimony from the child: “He tells me that he no longer wants to go on vacation with dad and grandma, that 'Daddy and grandma are mean. Dad touches my willy. I took out my phone, filmed it and again filed a complaint with the police“.

Since then, Julie has once again refused to leave her children with their father. She is awaiting the decision of the family court judge on Wednesday, November 20, who must rule in favor of one of the parents: each claims custody, the father also demands 500 euros per day of non-representation of the child. “I'm really, really scared. Why isn't my son just believed and protected?“, calls out this mother.

What mothers like Julie denounce, and those who defend them, is that justice does not apply the precautionary principle when filing a complaint. Today, the suspension of custody rights is automatic only if there is an indictment. Before this decision, the judge can decide to remove the father from the child for the duration of the investigation, but nothing obliges him to do so. Failure to represent a child, for its part, can result in prison sentences or loss of custody by the mother.

For Agathe Morel, a lawyer specializing in the defense of minor victims, cases like Julie's are her daily life.

“These are extremely frequent situations. Far too often, the precautionary principle is not applied.”

Agathe Morel, lawyer specializing in the defense of minor victims

on franceinfo

For this lawyer, the precautionary principle does not go against the presumption of innocence. “It's just time for an investigationshe explains. So we are told that they are too long. But that's not the problem with mothers who denounce, they just need to be shorter. It’s about not taking the risk of handing the child over to a potential attacker.“.

Maître Agathe Morel also regrets that the subject remains unknown to magistrates. “I remember last year in , an incest case. I had a general counsel who was young, 30, 35 years old. She didn't know the figures for incest, even though it's her job. It's dizzying. I was also very surprised that at a conference, a seasoned juvenile judge recognized that sometimes, situations are too hard to bear, so he prefers to be in denial.“, she says.

Should this justice, which crystallizes criticism, improve? According to Cendra Leblanc of the magistrates' union, herself a former children's judge, dysfunctions are possible, but they arise above all from a lack of resources. “These are decisions that are difficult to make, which also require time, reflection, sometimes discussion with other colleagues, which we do not necessarily have available.explains this magistrate. There is a comprehensive policy regarding domestic violence. But as far as violence against minors is concerned, the account is not there“.

A week ago, the Senate voted to extend an emergency measure to incest: the protection order. This allows family court judges to take removal measures, a tool currently reserved for cases that include domestic violence. Tuesday, November 19, the CIIVISE, the independent commission on incest and sexual violence against children, meeting in plenary commission, underlined “the urgent need for a text to better protect the
children victims of incest and sexual violence“. In a press release, the commission considers “that in the current state of the law, the protection of children provided for by the law of March 2024 comes much too late in view of the time of the criminal investigation: it is therefore essential to provide an emergency system“.

*The first name has been changed

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