Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson: story of a terrible evening

After eight rounds and 16 minutes of infinite sadness, the little Internet hit “beat” the boxing legend. We will especially remember the big technical bugs at Netflix, which did not live up to its own event. Friday night, it was decency that ended up on the carpet.

For a laugh, we still wondered for a few seconds if the much-vaunted fight between the ring legend and the Internet starlet was to be classified as entertainment or sport. And then, because Netflix, because Jake Paul, because the showoff, because the atmosphere worthy of a Miss America election version of potato in the face, here we are in the escapades and gossip section to return to the one of the most watched fights in history.

Proof of this is the Windows 95 quality of the servers of Netflix, an exclusive broadcaster, which have more than once collapsed under the weight of the success of the event, arousing funny discontent from its subscribers.

But let’s get down to business, shall we? On one side, Mike Tyson, 50 victories, a bitten ear in 1997 and dips into drugs and alcohol. On the other, Jake Paul, 20 million subscribers and accusations of sexual assault on the trapezes. Surprise, thirty-one years apart does not prevent us from sharing the same passion: Donald Trump. Although he is a ring regular and has always been supported by the powerful masculinist boss of the UFC league, Dana White, the future president of the United States did not make the trip to AT&T Stadium in Arlington, in Texas last night.

We don’t know if this could have consoled the two muscular men, but Hawk Tuah Girl didn’t give up on the invitation.

Last night, two heavyweights, undoubtedly. Billions of likes for one, 44 victories by knockout for the other. “If one wants to prove that he is someone, the other would like to make sure that he always is,” Lennox Lewis, former opponent of Mike Tyson, will more or less tell us on the microphone, a few hours before the most anticipated fight of the decade (well… with that of Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg, of course).

The ego has the power to put anyone in the ring. Money too. It is said that they each left Texas with $40 million in their pockets. Plenty to heal bruises. And then, speaking of underwear, “Iron Mike” got everyone on their ass by walking around with his butt in the air, two hours before snacking on a piece of his own legend.

Despite everything, we had to be patient before being entitled to the headliners. Fortunately, between two technical problems and three advertisements, Netflix had planned real fights. The American Amanda Serrano and the Irish Katie Taylor offered a face-to-face which will go down in the history of women’s boxing. After a merciless war, the Irishwoman won over Serrano, as at Madison Square Garden two years earlier. A decision that will make the Internet mad.

English boxing (or the noble art, for the boasters) therefore did not completely lose credibility on Friday evening. We’re exaggerating a bit, because the simple fact of seeing Mike Tyson again, even quite diminished, was enough to save this catastrophic evening. His last pro fight dates back to 2005 and, personally, the last time we saw him was in the trashed bedroom of Very Bad Tripmimicking Phil Collins on drums. A film in which he doesn’t even remember agreeing to appear, because he was “too stoned.”

Jake Paul, for his part, remembered the scene in question very well, since at midnight and dust, he will make his entrance on the same song, aboard a rowdy Bentley and accompanied by his brother, Logan, also an influencer and boxer.

The fight

11:54 p.m., the American anthem performed by Tori Kelly (finally) signals the end of the laughs and the close-ups of celebrities in the stands, from Charlize Theron to Shaquille O’Neal. Mike Tyson, for his part, will tumble in the old-fashioned way, under a loose t-shirt and with his gaze already focused on his opponent’s ribs. A sobriety that clashes with the noise that Netflix wanted to create around its exclusivity. The Internet kid can’t sit still, licking his lips and shaking his beard in all directions. Nervous and no doubt aware that he is facing a legend only once he is largely retired.

Iron Mike is feverish in his lower body, even if the reflexes have not completely disappeared. Proof that the fight is not really one, the rules have changed for the occasion. It will be eight two-minute rounds, fists hidden in training gloves, just to muffle the blows and limit the damage. Which won’t stop Jake Paul from getting some nice plums.

Sixteen minutes after the start of the fight, the influencer will be unanimously declared the winner. So. That’s all And we don’t really know what we were dealing with. A boxer for four years, Jake Paul has so far only put on the gloves against former MMA fighters, achieving victories that specialists have great difficulty estimating. By confronting a diminished legend, the young network sensation proves above all that she is cruelly lacking in legitimacy, despite the millions of subscribers and the greenbacks.

And then, what did Mike Tyson do in this quagmire? Self-esteem, no doubt. And a few tens of millions of dollars. Was the game worth it? To see the reactions pouring in online, it seems that it is a feeling of waste and sadness that prevails. Four hours of noisy, flashy and frustrating emptiness. We would have thought we were on Instagram on a Sunday evening.