Those who have found a good way to live with their history perceive it as a unique and positive characteristic.Image: Shutterstock
Most people want to know where they come from. Daniel Drewniak, specialist in biomedical ethics and sociologist, explains how to inform a child born from sperm donation about his history.
Stephanie Schnydrig / ch media
In Switzerland, information about the sperm donor can generally only be obtained from the age of 18. How do you assess this age limit?
Daniel Drewniak: It’s already better than if it wasn’t possible at all. But it’s not ideal to only be able to know your genetic origins in adulthood. It’s difficult to determine the right time for everyone. Because it’s very individual.
“Parents are in the best position to assess it. In principle, the sooner the better”
There are now wonderful children’s books that present different family models and that parents can read to children very early, mixing in their own story.
Daniel Drewniak is a research associate at the Institute for Biomedical Ethics and Medical History at the University of Zurich and conducts research as part of the “Human Reproduction Reloaded” project. He is co-lead of the IDENTITY study, which examines the perspectives and experiences of people conceived through sperm or egg donation or surrogacy.
How much do gifted children want to know where they come from?
Research tells us that many people want to know where they come from genetically. It is especially during adolescence that these questions of identity appear. Interestingly, most of them only meet their genetic father once.
“Many people no longer wish to have close contact with their natal father afterward”
Really?
Yes, this shows that the genetic dimension is important, but that it should not be overestimated. It certainly offers the potential necessary for the establishment of a solid social relationship. But in the case of the progenitor, we can wonder what form this relationship should take: is he a second paternal figure, a paternal “friend”, a sort of uncle? In a way, it’s a bit weird. It is quite different for half-siblings.
To what extent?
Half-brothers and half-sisters exert a great fascination on many children born from a gift. Unlike the genetic father, it is easier to assign them a social function, which makes it easier, for example, to form friendly relationships. These relationships can be long-lasting, especially if you have common interests, live nearby and speak the same language.
The children born from the gift of Jonathan Jacob Meijer, the Man of a Thousand Children, have hundreds of half-brothers and sisters. It’s difficult to establish a relationship with each of them.
It’s even impossible. Social sciences tell us that a person cannot know more than 150 other people. If you take away close family, close friends, work colleagues, there aren’t many left. It is realistic that children born from donation, like those of Jonathan Jacob Meijer, remain in contact with a few half-siblings.
“We don’t yet know what this will mean in terms of relationships between the children”
Particularly because there are only a few comparable cases. To do this, these children would have to be followed over the long term.
Daniel Drewniak is an associate researcher at the Institute for Biomedical Ethics and Medical History at the University of Zurich.
Do we know what it does to a child when he learns that he is just one child among many others?
We always imagine the situation in a more negative way than many children born through donation actually perceive it.
“Being a gifted child is a particular characteristic which can be constitutive in terms of identity, since most are not, and never have as many half-siblings.”
Of course, there are also some for whom it is more difficult. But those who have found a good way to live with their history – especially with the help of their social parents – perceive it as a unique and positive characteristic.
Translated from German by Anne Castella
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