Climate change. Like discussions about the monarchy or world leaders, it's one of those topics that inevitably comes up at the Christmas dinner table or after a few happy drinks, one way or another.
Uncle Jacques may make an unexpected and uninformed comment about Greta Thunberg. Cousin Marie can start saying that renewable energy is unreliable. And it's only as soon as Grandpa Jerome starts saying that climate change is just a meteorological phenomenon, declaring loudly and clearly that “we've always had storms.”
Should we launch into a passionate monologue – or rather bite our tongue? Is it worth advocating for climate action? Or sit quietly in a corner and feel the black cloud rising above your pointy paper hat?
We've got it all planned out, with advice from a climate change expert.
You don't have to engage in climate conversations unless you want to
Solitaire Townsend has a long history of working in the environmental field, serving as “chief solutionist” and co-founder of Futerra, a change agency whose mission is “to make sustainable development so desirable that it becomes normal.”
She is also the author of the award-winning book The Solutionists: How Businesses Can Fix the Future.
So Solitaire knows when to get involved in a conversation about climate change at Christmas and when it's best to stay away.
And if you decide to teach your family a climate lesson, she offers some fantastic ways to deal with difficult questions and reactions.
“It's been a long day. A few “comments” from your [insérer le nom du membre de la famille ou du vieil ami ici] have already raised your blood pressure,” says Townsend.
“You have exhausted the safe topics regarding children, food, the weather… et [insérer la personne] rejects, discredits or denies the issue you care about.”
“It’s time to stand up for what you believe in. Because it’s the right thing to do…right?
What are you doing ? Is it your duty to educate your loved ones and convince them? Or is it better to remain silent?
Townsend advises trusting your instincts and how you feel in the moment.
“You absolutely DO NOT have to talk,” she says. “If your mental healthyour physical or financial security or essential support relationships suffer, leave the area. Play with the children or animals. Let it go.”
It's important to preserve your peace, she says, because once the holidays are over, “we [le mouvement] “We need your passion, your energy and your commitment,” adding that the only person for whom a huge family argument will make a difference is, if we're being honest, you.
When you express yourself, put yourself in the other person's shoes
The holiday season is just one time of year when you might be having conversations about climate, and you might prefer to wait for another time when you can have easier one-on-one conversations.
In some families, debates during the holiday season are encouraged, so you may feel safe and willing to speak up to express your point of view.
Townsend says it's worth speaking up at this time of year “so the children in the family and others hear your point of view.”
And when you do, she has a pearl of wisdom to offer: “Family discussions about climate change are NEVER about climate change, but about family dynamics.”
She suggests not trying to convince the person who is challenging you. Instead, she recommends “finding arguments and stories to convince everyone else.”
We all know that climate deniers are unlikely to change their minds, even if they are happy to eat their Brussels sprouts with gravy.
Climate change is a personal matter, which concerns everyone
Think about your interlocutor in order to adapt your conversation to their level. Save the graphs and charts for the office and instead use the heart, not the numbers, in your arguments.
When you try to change a point of view, you must first break through a wall of fear. As tempting as it may be, don't jump straight into your counterarguments. Try to listen properly to the concerns raised in order to find common ground.
“Go easy on the facts and statistics and address the family's concerns instead,” Townsend says. Plus, you can make things more personal by connecting the two. “Relate climate change to niece K’s asthma, uncle B’s struggles to find work, or sister J’s interest in science,” she adds.
Likewise, avoid jargon that could alienate your audience.
One of the best lines I've ever heard: “I care about climate change because I care about this family.”
When climate conversations heat up, keep your cool
If your discussions get heated and start to turn from a friendly debate into a full-blown argument, do your best to lighten the mood by focusing on easily accessible topics.
Repeat any concerns you hear to show that you hear and understand them, whether they are changes in lifestylecosts or inconveniences.
Avoid appearing defensive or aggressive – any speaker will tell you that humor is a much more effective way to win over a crowd.
And what is the best line to use when faced with climate denial ?
Townsend's favorite is: “Wow, I can't tell you how much I WISH this were true. I wish climate change didn't happen. I hate that it's happening, but I admit that we need to do something about it.”
If your elders challenge you, Townsend recommends paying them a compliment: “You taught me that it's best to face these kinds of things. You faced difficult truths that others would have ignored.”
“Research shows that people are more likely to accept climate change when they are reminded that they have overcome major personal challenges,” adds Townsend.
Don't get into the perfection argument
You yourself know that global climate change can seem insurmountable; so it is better to talk about regional issues.
Avoid falling into the trap of big societal changes and always bring the conversation back to small individual steps or community which are part of the bigger picture.
Focus on solutions, not problems. If you have a few examples of inspiring local action up your sleeve, even better, but keep it human-centered and relevant to your family. Perhaps it's that community garden or housing development at the end of the street, which offers plenty of free vegetables for everyone in the summer, or the solar panels that turn on the lights at the town hall and which are already bringing in revenue money to the national network.
“Bring the conversation back to saving money, home improvementhealth, job prospects for kids,” suggests Townsend.
You can also share your own experience of how you better understood climate issues, where and why you did your research, and how you are doing your part. Just be careful not to come across as a preacher.
And, Ms. Townsend warns, “never promise perfection.” She recommends saying from time to time: “I'm far from perfect at this. But we need millions of people doing their part, rather than a few perfect greens.”
Townsend has one more final word of wisdom: “Remember, the world desperately needs a lot more love, respect and laughter right now, rather than big, vicious family arguments.”
Now that you've started these climate conversations, you can continue to share positive initiatives and hopeful stories throughout the new year. After all, what good is a family WhatsApp group if not this?
