Par
Vincent Malboeuf
Published on
Jan 15, 2025 at 6:42 p.m.
The wooden cross no longer stands upright. Here lies, under a mound of earth, Didier Tombois, who died in 2006 at the age of 47.
Romain gathers in front. Drop off a small bouquet of flowers purchased in the morning. It's his dad. Which he never knew.
The first time he came to the Saint-Gilles cemetery in Clisson (in Loire-Atlantique), five years ago, tears had flowed.
The second time was this Monday, December 23, 2024. The emotion can be seen on his face. Romain Favre, living in Macon (in Saône-et-Loire), crossed France to come buy the tomb concession of his biological father in order to “maintain his memory”.
His dad died in the street in Clisson in 2006
The latter was buried as a pauper by the Clisson town hall 19 years earlier. He was homeless. He died in the street, one winter evening in February 2006. Precisely in Garenne Valentin.
His death sparked a strong emotion in Clisson and caused a lot of ink to flow in the pages of our newspaper The Weekly of Sèvre et Maine (read in box below).
Romain discovered its existence in 2019, at the age of 38. The man with bright blue eyes is born under X on December 4, 1981 in Saint-Quentin in Aisne. He was adopted at 4 months old by a family from Saône-et-Loire.
I have always appreciated the love of my family but it was as an adult, after the birth of my son (in 2004), that I needed to know the reasons for my abandonment.
First research in 2007, at the age of 25
It is 2007. So begins a long and tedious research work for this bus driver. Who is his father? Who is her mother, too, who gave birth to her?
After consulting your file with the DDASS (Departmental Directorate of Health and Social Affairs), the first surprises appear. His place of birth is not the same as that indicated on his identity card. His three first names are different from the three he has.
And finally, its biological mom was only 16 when she gave birth and was herself the subject of adoption, then placement in a foster home “following significant personal problems”.
Romain wants to know if she is alive. Then comes the response from the CNAOP (national center for access to personal origins) the following year.
They tell me they found my biological mother and informed her of my search but that she denies having given birth. I thought the CNAOP had the wrong person. But he told me that no other person could be my mother and that denial often happens in these cases.
Except that history will prove that the structure was indeed wrong.
Depression and abandonment disorders in 2016
Romain assimilated what he thought was a rejection until 2016, “without really reacting”. That year, the father of two boys fell into depression and was victim of abandonment disorders. Illness necessarily linked to his past.
While on leave, he found the strength to relaunch the CNAOP and travel several times to the ASE (Social Assistance for Children) in Aisne. If the administration gives him “fuzzy elements”, he obtains “snippets” from the DDASS that his mother “was brown, southern type”. That his father was 23 years old at his birth and was not informed of his paternity.
No name, no face. His investigation is floundering. But Romain persists.
Leaflets, calls, emails, door to door…
Between 2016 and 2018, he told his story on his website. Distributes more than 20,000 leaflets in the car parks of Saint-Quentin and Laon, and in many businesses in the Aisne department to publicize their quest for identity. Makes dozens of phone calls, goes door to door to question the neighborhood, sends hundreds of emails to research sites and associations, consults departmental archives…
“I’m also doing a DNA test because I’m finding out that I might be related to an American grandfather.” False lead.
Romain also creates family trees “based on what I had as information”.
Didier Tombois: a death in the street and controversies
On the night of Friday February 17 to Saturday February 18, 2006, a forty-year-old was found inert by a passer-by who was taking his dog out at Garenne Valentin, a park in Clisson.
Due to the lack of a doctor on night duty in the town, a doctor from a neighboring area noted the death of this homeless person four hours later, as revealed by L'Hebdo de Sèvre et Maine a few days later. First controversy. “The person was dead before the alert was given,” said the gendarmerie. She had been hanging around Clisson for 6-7 months.”
This person is Didier Tombois, 47 years old. His death would be natural, we wrote for the first time in our newspaper. Except that many voices were raised in relation to this death, including elected official Franck Nicolon who regretted that “the local resources made available to respond to this type of difficulty are notoriously insufficient”.
But “Didier Tombois never made a request to social services. We offered him our help, but he refused. It may seem inconceivable but he wanted to remain homeless,” reacted Nathalie Meillerais, social worker in the town of Clisson. “A pure and die-hard backpacker, who did not die of cold,” added Jean-Michel Busson, deputy at the time.
Didier Tombois had consumed an excessive quantity of alcohol that evening, a fatal quantity combined with the cold of winter. According to local residents, he was “depressed after the loss of his puppies” who were wandering.
Found, the six were euthanized, unlike his dog Gessie. New controversy. The animal rights association regretted this action, even if the procedure had been respected in this case.
2019, year of reunion with his biological mother
Here we are in the summer of 2019. Romain continues to tow in the streets of Saint-Quentin. In the hair salon, which is “50 meters from the home where I was placed”, the manager confides to him that she knows two people who worked in 1981 at the PJJ (Judicial Protection of Youth), now closed.
“It was a couple. I went to see him in September. The lady knew my biological mother and, after hesitation to preserve her identity, ended up contacting her and informing her that I was looking for her.”
Romain hits the mark. He is put in touch with his mother by telephone. A great moment. It will be even stronger on October 19, 2019, the day of their first meeting, “in front of the basilica of Saint-Quentin”.
She was accompanied by her best friend, me by my wife. It was a wonderful reunion. I remember we kissed each other, as if it were natural. My mother lived in the Cognac region in Charente. She then told me that she didn't know how to find me and had left a message a few months earlier, on the Search for biological mother or child born under X site.
He wants to know more about his dad, who died in Clisson
His mother had abandoned him because he was too young and too “in pain”. But she is alive. Since then, the two have never left each other's side.
What about his father? Romain immediately learns that he is dead. “Mom gave me his identity and I knew he had died in Clisson. She had no contact with him since I was born. I then understand that I will have to do research on my paternal family.”
In December 2019, he went to Loire-Atlantique for the first time to visit on the grave of Didier Tombois. “I was alone in front of myself and I cried,” he recalled, five years later.
His quest is still not over. He wants to know more about this dad he never knew. He counts on his testimony, here in The Weekly of Sèvre et Maineto broaden his research.
“If anyone knew my father a little, in Clisson, don't hesitate to contact me by email,” says Romain Favre, who was preparing to meet members of his father's family in January, notably his aunt.
“I finally managed to piece together the puzzle that the administration forbade me to know.” It took him more than 10 years.
Contact Romain Favre : [email protected]. Site Internet : https://julien-ne-sous-x.e-monsite.com/#page1.
Follow all the news from your favorite cities and media by subscribing to Mon Actu.
Related News :