because the caregiver “risks a lot”

Mgeriatrician in Belfort, from 1980 to 2015, the year of his retirement, Doctor Gérard Simon then settled in Poitou-Charentes. Tuesday November 19, the speaker will speak about “the health of caregivers and the need to take care of oneself”, one of the two conferences of a forum which will be held at the Mendès-France space. To listen to it, you must reserve (1).

What is the definition of a caregiver?

There is an official definition but it is imperfect. The definition says that a caregiver is someone who assists in a non-professional capacity – which is very important – a person close to them with a disability. It can be a child, an adult, an old person. What this definition does not say – and psychologist Laure Vezin added this notion – is that there is an emotional bond with the person being helped. This is where everything comes into play. A loved one means family, friends, neighbors.

Does the definition include a notion of minimal time, sharing of daily life, etc.? ?

No. The aid is permanent or not. It concerns a lot of things: administrative procedures, support for social life, coordination of professional stakeholders. It also extends to care, to hygiene care. In France, the population of caregivers is estimated at 11 million. Half take care of old people. 60% are women and the average age is 64 years. 57% are spouses, 17% are family members and 17% live in the circle of friends and the neighborhood. 4 million are in professional activity.

The average time of help is six hours per day for 70% of spouses and 50% of children

What does a caregiver risk?

He risks big. Imagine that the average helping time is six hours per day for 70% of spouses and 50% of children. This is not a side hustle. Caregivers face great physical and psychological difficulties. Were relationships good before or not? Often old conflicts will come to the surface. Physically, it's very heavy. You have to run from right to left. And all of this is overcome by a feeling of worry: “I'm not doing enough” and “if things go wrong”, “if I arrive at my dad or mom's house and find him or her dead”. Caregivers will go as far as possible and even beyond. It requires a lot of organization so they no longer take their personal lives into account. There is no more leisure and they sacrifice themselves. This will result in their health being compromised.

And the caregivers’ entourage in all this?

It's interesting… There is the person we are caring for who, sometimes, also makes the caregiver feel guilty by saying: “I only see you, I'm bored. » There are other family members who have designated the caregiver because she is a woman, lives nearby or because it is the hegemonic child who says “I take care of everything” and that's not good either. They will put pressure on them, they will call every evening to clear their conscience and say “you should…, I spoke to Dad on the phone”. These are psychologically terrible situations.

But then, what breathing for caregivers?

Associations of caregivers and patients help a lot. You should turn to your doctor for daily advice. From the start, you have to establish rules and say: “Who is coming to replace me? “. When there is a conflict, we can call on family mediation which will give everyone a voice in order to define a strategy and rules which will lead to a better life. They will sign a protocol. There is also the right to respite, the possibility of entrusting your loved one to an nursing home for a few days. There is also caregiver leave in companies. In Quebec, there is baluchonnage, a support system thanks to life assistants who come to the home. It's starting to come to France.

(1) By registration by telephone on 05 46 97 53 02 on www.asept-charentes.fr