Sleep divorce: episode 0/11 of the podcast Le mot

“Sleep divorce” is not a recent phenomenon. As early as the Victorian era, couples were advised not to sleep together: doctors believed that the one who slept poorly sucked the energy from the one who slept well. What is “sleep divorce” a symptom of? Is having a separate room or bed the first step towards divorce, or on the contrary can “separating” while sleeping can revive a relationship?

Everyone has their own duvet

It all depends on whether we are thinking about the health of the couple or simply the physiological need to sleep better. If one snores too loudly, takes up too much space or pulls out the entire duvet, psychologist and therapist Camille Rochet recommends “to be super smart, find tricks and be creative”. By drawing inspiration for example from the Scandinavian method, in which everyone has their own duvet.

In certain cases, if couples are too exhausted, she may recommend having separate rooms, to favor sleep. But this does not have the same meaning as a couple who decide to no longer sleep together because the other's presence is becoming stifling.

The bed, “place of truth”

As far as possible, Camille Rochet therefore strongly advocates for the common bedroom. “For a couple who have children, it's really the place where we can get together, chat, find a moment of rest in our crazy rhythms. And for children, seeing your parents sleep separately, it's not not at all clear.” According to her, the bed is “the place of truth”. In particular to resolve a possible conflict, by discussing in a peaceful manner, rather than ignoring it or fleeing from it by taking refuge in their own rooms.

According to her, it is not only important to sleep together, but also to go to bed at the same time. “Because, when we're too offbeat all the time, we live with roommates. And then casually, she adds, from 10 p.m., libido decreases…”