Laurent Gerra’s column from December 19, 2024

Time to recall the titles, presented today by our friend Xavier De Moulins. “And the current news is of course the new government”? explains Miss Jade. This one doesn’t seem to agree: “Absolutely not. The current news is World Orgasm Day, which will take place on Saturday. So ladies, rather than waiting in vain for an orgasm from the share your clumsy husband, go to Xavier-de-moulins.com and enjoy without restraint while listening to… my voice. The host interrupts: “Let’s move on to the next information please, in this case Christmas Eve, which is fast approaching”… “It’s true, and it’s now I am addressing you, gentlemen: if you don’t know what to give your women, give them the Xavier De Moulins talking sex toy, molded on my penis and connected to… my voice. So Merry Christmas to all. all”, explains the journalist…

It’s the musical event of this winter and the ideal Christmas gift for fans: our friend Etienne Daho has just released the live album from his big 2024 tour. The double CD is entitled Etienne Live. “Did you play at the brie party?” asks Miss Jade. This one whispers: “Hooo… MAKE a mfff’noise!” The host then tries to dissect her words: “I understand: make some noise, right?” “Ugh! Evening Paris!” wow! “We feel that you are still in the energy of these concerts that you recorded for this album… This tour was a success and the enthusiasm of the public can be heard on the CD. It is especially the public that we hear elsewhere”. “Mfff… audience… ‘sing’…’loud”, replies the singer…

After their tour of public deliberations in the far west, the 9 wise men of the Constitutional Council returned to the capital but it was to better return to the roads of France with Alain Juppé. “Hello dykes tucked away warm, rest,” he begins. “Whoa, you seem to be in a bad mood this morning,” points out the host. “Affirmative. I would like to see you there, it’s not you who hit the Munster Christmas market in -3°.” “Should I conclude from this that you have completed your 2024 tour of public deliberations in eastern France?” asks Miss Jade… “We can’t hide anything from you. We barely had time to stamp the conformity papers for the new government before we hit the road again: direction Munster. After the mildness of the west, and despite the Damart skin knits and the long johns, I can tell you that we froze our ass and everything else too”… Crazy adventures that never end…

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