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“Announcing your illness to your child is a challenge,”

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Yann Defaque

Published on

Nov 2, 2024 at 8:16 a.m.

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Coping with the diagnosis, enduring the treatments and their terrible side effects, losing your femininity, getting back up… The obstacle course or rather the fighter’s journey imposed by the cancer be you forced Virginie Prudhomme, a resident ofAbbeville (Sum) to turn into a warrior.

Announcing the illness to your daughter: an ordeal

A war against this scourge with an ordeal for which the Abbeville resident was not ready: the announcement of her illness to her 8-year-old daughter Victoire.

Currently in remission, this 44-year-old mother has agreed to put her modesty aside to look back on this painful period.

When I was diagnosed, I was devastated, I even felt unwell.

Virginie Prudhomme

Her life suddenly changed one day in July 2023. “While cleaning, I naturally passed my hand over my chest and I felt like a little marble in my breast. I didn’t understand because I had made a mammography four months ago and there was nothing. When I immediately did another mammogram, they confirmed what I had felt and a week later, a biopsy was carried out,” recalls the mother.

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The diagnosis was violent and clear: “I was told without hesitation that I had cancer and that I had to make an appointment with my doctor to find out what steps to follow. I was devastated, I even felt unwell. »

Virginie had to wait until October to be taken into care. “When I had surgery, they discovered that the ball which was 7mm in July had grown to a size of 7cm. They took everything out and I had to start from there chemotherapy. I followed around fifteen sessions over around five months. »

Immersed in a world with its violence and its consequences

A world that Abbeville discovered with its violence and its consequences. “I was really lost. A week before my first session, I asked lots of questions. What it was going to do to me, how I was going to be able to take care of my daughter…” To protect Victoire, Virginie initially decides not to reveal her illness to her.

“At first I lied to my daughter. I told him that the doctors had to remove a small lump and that I needed injections to heal. I couldn’t tell him the word cancer. But I regret it… I quickly understood that a child feels everything and understands very well what is happening,” says the mother with emotion.

One day while taking a shower, all my hair fell out.

Virginie Prudhomme

“Looking back, I regret not having told him from the start and explained my illness. I wanted to protect her but she looked for information herself to understand why I was no longer the same” continues Virginie who never found the strength to show her daughter her head without hair. .

“I would like to create an association to exchange ideas, help each other, and not be alone”

While fighting against breast cancer, Virginie Prudhomme was confronted with heavy and very restrictive solitude. “As a single mother, daily tasks have become very difficult. I was so tired that I didn’t have the strength to drive my daughter to school. Going shopping, carrying a water pack or doing a laundry run was impossible for me. »
An observation which gave the Abbeville resident the idea of ​​creating a group “so that sick women do not find themselves alone. I know that there are associations like ACC 80 (Agir contre le cancer) which offer activities and do a lot against breast cancer. The idea would be to allow women affected by this disease to meet, to exchange ideas, to give each other advice. We could also help each other with shopping or walking the dog of someone who is physically weak. »

“One day while taking a shower, all my hair fell out… I had a bob and in an instant, I had nothing left, my head bare. I will never forget this moment. I cried for an hour and a half in the bathroom, I didn’t want to come out without hair. We lose all our femininity. I didn’t want my daughter to see me like that,” remembers the Abbeville resident who had anticipated this traumatic change in appearance.

“Since I knew I was going to lose my hair, I had already bought a wig that resembled my original hairstyle. »

The mind 80% of the success of the treatment

Then, while she fights against suffering and general intolerable fatigue, the mother will receive support from her daughter. A sentence that will trigger a wave of emotion and remove a weight that has become too heavy.

“One day my daughter said to me: “You should have told me that you had cancer, Mom. I know what it is, I saw it on TikTok. “Victoire was of great help to me. She was my best medicine. When I was told that the mind was 80% of the success of the treatment, I can tell you that it is very true. »

We are not talking about healing but about remission

To “not sink”, Virginie remembers “I was thinking of my children. I listened to music to keep my mind off the illness. Physically, I was at my worst but psychologically, I was getting back on track. We fight for our children. »

A year after the intervention, the Abbeville resident is doing better. The hair has grown back “even if I haven’t yet found my square,” she jokes while managing to project herself into the future.

“When something like this happens to you, you see life differently and you want to live it to the fullest. My goal is to open a boutique fish spa. A practice which consists of immersing the feet in a pool and letting small fish nibble on the dead skin. I am looking for premises in the city center. »

Virginie wants to give her wig to another woman

If this painful ordeal is behind her, the Abbeville resident cannot allow herself to mention the word healing as this small box still present in her chest used for treatment reminds her on a daily basis.

“They leave me the box if the illness comes back. In any case, we are never told about healing but about remission. It’s like we’re on borrowed time. »

As a conclusion during our interview, like a symbol, Virginie offers to offer her wig (blonde) to a woman who needs it following the loss of her hair.

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