“This disease is rubbish” testifies Céline

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In his hair salon, rue Garengeotin Vitré (Ille-et-Vilaine), Celine Morand welcomes its customers with a smile.

A frank smile, but only a facade because behind this shell of kindness and benevolenceit is a bruised woman who gives herself up. “The hardest thing is to tell yourself that we will never get back to the life we ​​had before,” the 42-year-old woman will repeat several times.

Diagnosed in 2017

It all started in 2017. At 35the verdict falls for Céline: she has breast cancer. “I still remember the first name of the intern who diagnosed me. Her name was Diane,” she remembers.

It is at this moment that the life of the thirty-something will turn upside down. “From one day to the next, we go from a life that has been mapped out, with children, a job, friends… to a life that takes a turning point. »

The results fall to wed-october and at the beginning of November, Céline went on the operating table for a total removal of the breast.

In mid-December, the chemistry begins: “Even for my worst enemy, I don’t wish him to experience this moment,” recalls Céline, thinking back to the pain during the treatment. “We feel like stabs in the stomach, there is also nausea…”

Then, the first visual signs arrive fin 2017 : “I have my first big hair loss. As a woman, it’s complicated, and as a hairdresser, even more so. »

At the same time, Céline must manage her role as mother of two children under 10 years old: “My mother died of cancer when I was 9 years old. I didn’t want my children to experience that. I explained the situation to them straight away. »

Radiotherapy and chemo

After three chemo treatments that were difficult to cope with physically, the doctorsinform Céline that she will switch to one chemo session per week: “They should have been less heavy. But the first time I threw up before getting in the taxi to go home. »

The treatment then follows like a well-established mechanism: “Just after chemo, I had a month’s break, and I continued with radiotherapy . It was every day for 20 days. »

These children will go so far as to attend a session with their mother. “The staff were great and I asked them if I could take my children for a session. They were able to see that I wasn’t being harmed, at least physically, because inside, it was complicated. »

At the beginning of July 2018, the end of the tunnel seems to appear for Céline:

I am told that everything will go back to the way it was before, but that is impossible. Psychologically and physically, I have continual fatigue. I have hormone therapy with a pill to take every day. There is permanent bone pain… We seem in good shape, but we have to deal with this pain. We’re alive, that’s the main thing.

After this first obstacle course, the vitreous hairdresser talks about “reconstruction. » She intervenes approximately three years after diagnosis.

Céline will undergo four new operations: “I chose natural reconstruction. That is to say, they realized liposuctionon several parts of my body in order to take fat to inject it into my breast. The pain was very severe after these operations,” she explains, showing photos of her swollen body after the surgical procedures.

“We tell ourselves that we are going to stay alone”

The physical reconstruction completed, the time comes to acceptance. “I was lucky to find a companion who accepted me as I am, because after this long journey, we say to ourselves that we will remain alone. Afterwards, when I am alone in front of the mirror, it remains complicated. »

Céline was also able to count on her family, her friends, her children and her clients. Self-employed hairdresser since 11 ansshe very quickly informed her customers of the situation: “I have always spoken about it openly. I announced the news as if I had a bad flu . The customers who were there then are still there today. My living room is my baby. After all that, occupational medicine made me understand that I had to stop, but I chose to continue. »

The 4Cs, a fight

After these trials, Céline was also able to count on the creation of the 4C association with Catherine Monnerie, unfortunately deceased today: “We met during our treatments and she was like a sister to me. We carried each other. We both started by selling roses. And then she left us. We say to ourselves why her and not me? Since then, we have lost a lot of little roses. Sometimes I wanted to give up because I meet many women and we realize that cancer can never be cured. »

Since the end of the treatment, Céline has had to go every year to the hospital for a check-up visit. A sword of Damocles above the head.

Today, I live day by day. After each visit, I say to myself: “another year gained”. Before going to the visit, I don’t sleep. My biggest fear is having to undergo treatments again and returning to a psychological battle. This disease is rubbish.

So today, through the 4C association, the hairdresser is launching a call to women: “Don’t wait until you’re 50 to get tested. The treatments are so heavy…”

With her words, she also does not want to give false hopesto women: “I’m not going to say ‘don’t worry, everything will be fine’. Chemotherapy is very hard, you must not put yourself in a cocoon. We have one breast removed. It is a part of our femininity. »

The hairdresser’s story stops. Her clients are in her salon, ready to have their hair done while discreetly listening to listen to Céline’s story.

The story of a woman who fights cancer in the name ofa sweet dream: that of finding “this life before”.

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