Nicolas Rengade, two serious handicaps and hellish fishing

A clear and frank look under a large lock of brown hair and an unfailing joviality: this is what strikes you at first glance about Nicolas, more than the wheelchair with which he has lived willy-nilly since he was 14. Nicolas, however, assures us that he is the “luckiest” of men! It is true that Providence blessed him with a large, close-knit and warm family, the crucible of his faith in God. For the rest, he is less well off! At 8 and a half years old, he was diagnosed with Duchenne disease and a life expectancy of around thirty years. A few months later, his child’s heart was “shocked” by the announcement of his parents’ divorce, and “traumatized” by a devastating earthquake on Japanese land where he had lived since he was 3 years old. Upon his return to France, at the age of 9, he gradually lost his autonomy until he had to give up walking in 2015.

Apart from a heavy heartache that same year, nothing discouraged the young man: he forged all-round friendships, got involved with the AFM (French Association for Myopathy) from middle school, discovered a passion for the theater, practiced all possible sports before illness forced him to give them up (tennis, badminton, ping-pong, etc.), tried his hand at music.

The story could end there: that of a dynamic and sociable boy who is weakened by a very debilitating illness and who, knowing his time is limited, makes the most of his life. “Death is not for me a sword of Damocles that generates anxiety,” he assures us. “On the contrary, as it has been part of my horizon for a long time, it increases my desire to live tenfold!” A devouring desire that nothing hinders. Yet ! In April 2023, another twist of fate: overnight, Nicolas almost lost his sight, ended up in hospital, underwent medical examinations… and the news came, relentless: he had multiple sclerosis. “I had a chance in 60 million of combining these two illnesses,” he sighs. “Nevertheless! I am grateful for what life has given me. A very invested father by my side, a family (recomposed) in gold, great friends from all walks of life and the chance to know that God is by my side, once and for all.”

Because it is faith that broadens his horizons and gives him a mind of steel. A faith inherited from his parents to which he only gave relative importance until a confession in Lourdes the year he turned 16. A confession which, he insists, “radically changed” him and filled him with an unalterable serenity. “I felt a presence of love which filled the entirety of my heart,” he testifies. “I had so much joy within me that I could not do anything other than smile, smile at this divine presence, smile at the tenderness of my loved ones, smile at the beauty of my life.”

Since that day, a special bond has been forged with the Marian shrine: he goes there every year as a family for the National Pilgrimage of the Assumption, not on the sick side, but on the caregiver side. “The helping relationship is of extreme importance to me,” he explains: “at the start, I swallowed my pride and forced myself to ask for help from everyone. I realized that the others were happy to bring it to me, that it generated great encounters. So I also strive to put myself at the service of all.” And he added, convinced: “I also realized that everyone has their own fragilities, which challenge others. Our humanity is revealed in this exchange.”

This observation opened his eyes to his vocation: to help those who are entangled in a difficulty or struggling to find their way. After having obtained a law degree by force of the wrist, Nicolas decided to become a coach. He has just joined a school in Lyon, where he has lived for several years in a shared accommodation with a beloved cousin who is also one of his carers. Because this tireless conqueror is today dependent for all the gestures of daily life: dressing, showering, eating… He copes with the fatigue which can fall on him without warning.

But he cannot make him give up his activities: in addition to his studies (the voice control of his computer is a great service to him on a daily basis!), he is diligent in the chaplaincy, in improvisation theater classes, in weekly French-Japanese conversation sessions… “During COVID,” he says, “I decided to learn Japanese, just to reconnect with my childhood. My curiosity for this culture continued to grow until becoming a passion.” Passion, you will have understood, is its driving force. And gratitude, its fuel: “Let us be grateful for what we are and what the world gives us,” he exults. When the appetite is good, everything is good!