Gray divorce: what is this phenomenon increasingly observed among seniors?

Gray divorces refer to divorces occurring after the age of 50. If this phenomenon is not rare, on the other hand, they have been increasing significantly in recent years. A study carried out in the United States noted that between 1990 and 2010, the number of separations doubled. The study authors noted a cultural shift in “the meaning of marriage and divorce, which is expressed in all generations, including seniors“. An observation shared by lawyer Michelle Dayan who adds in her book “We loved each other so much”: “In thirty years (from 1996 to 2016), divorces in the age group aged 60 and over have almost tripled, as have those in the 50-59 age group, all sexes combined.”.

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Why do seniors divorce?

Weariness of a stifling life, better health care, the desire to find a second wind, especially among “unhappily married” couples… the reasons which push people over 50 to divorce are numerous. If the relationship with the institution of marriage has changed, divorce is also seen less as inconceivable or shameful. “This is the first generation of retirees who dare to separate, without worrying about the eyes of others and without guilt“, explains Christine Ganneval, psychoanalyst interviewed by Nice-Matin. On the contrary, “For many, divorce represents a renewal. It's the start of a new adventure, full of possibilities and discoveries. Perspectives made possible by the global evolution of our society”.

Furthermore, it is often women over 60 who initiate separation after decades of marriage. This is particularly made possible with financial and social independence. Indeed, many women have acquired the independence allowing them to leave a marriage that no longer satisfies them. This is confirmed by Bella DePaulo, a Californian researcher and psychologist quoted by Slate: “Throughout history, we see that as soon as they have social security coverage and a certain financial stability, older people are more likely to live alone“.

In search of happiness

When spouses are in working life, each has their own concerns, professional life and social life. They spend less time with their partners, or only when the children are around. Frequently, in retirement, they find themselves alone at home and life together is more difficult, especially when the children have left the nest. Result: they may find that they no longer have anything in common, after decades of marriage. As a result, some couples will seek new sources of fulfillment and this may involve separation.

Especially since today, life does not end with the end of your professional career. Retirees are much more active, move around, socialize and meet new people. For Michelle Dayan, interviewed by Planet.fr, for certain women, “it's a second wind in love with a man sometimes younger than them who pushes them, for others, it's the desire to live a better life for the two decades to come, as self-confident single people. They are less afraid of “being left behind” as our grandmothers predicted for single women..