This gray October morning, a gentleman in his fifties greets, on the doorstep of the church, Florence Gibon, 63, who has just celebrated her father's funeral. « Merci,your words went straight to the heart, he confides to him. Even if I'm not usually much of a “all that” person. (he points to the church). The songs and the texts touched me. » Her elderly mother, in a wheelchair, takes Florence's hands to thank her. “You are a beautiful familyreplies this committed secularist. We feel a lot of love. »
A few minutes earlier, in front of an audience unfamiliar with the churches, Florence Gibon presided over the Catholic funeral of the deceased, proposing to her loved ones “whose belief it is” to make the sign of the cross and place a candle on the coffin. And seeking to enable them, as she says, “to live death with Christian hope”.
Located on the heights of Le Havre, the Sainte-Jeanne-d'Arc church, baptized “mourning and hope”, is one of the only church places in France specially devoted to the issues of mourning and death. A few years ago, this church was almost abandoned when Father André Recher, responsible for mourning pastoral care, had the idea of investing in it. Next to the large hall, a side chapel and an even smaller one are adapted to the size of a funeral of five, twenty or fifty people. The space also has an office to receive families, and a room is made available for friendly drinks after the funeral.
Father Recher died suddenly in 2021, but lay people took over the project through two main axes: the preparation and celebration of funerals for people far from the Church but wanting a religious ceremony – two funerals are held each week; and reflection on death, with the organization of several conferences during the year.
“Mourning is fundamental and we rarely talk about it”
On death, a taboo subject in our societies, the existence of a dedicated place opens up a space for discussion. “Mourning today is fundamental and we rarely talk about it,” notes Father Bruno Golfier, accompanist of the Jeanne-d'Arc space team. “Having spaces where people can come and pray and confide in each other is extremely important. » For theologian Arnaud Join-Lambert, who has seen similar initiatives in Germany or Singapore, it is a space “truly original” In France.
Among the team that runs this place, many have lost someone very close to them. A husband, a wife, a son, a daughter. François-Xavier and Béatrice Chaigneau are part of the Jonathan Pierres vivants association, which supports parents who have lost a child; Nicole Delaune is diocesan leader of Hope and Life, a movement for widows and widowers. Everyone knows the need, when we are grieving, to express ourselves, the importance of the words of others and, as much as possible, the right words.
Before each celebration, Florence Gibon, who herself lost the eldest of her four children nineteen years ago, listens for an hour to the families of the deceased, and guides them in choosing the songs and texts. She asks questions: “What was his life, his profession? How was he with his family? What did he like to do? » Once home, she rereads her notes and takes two hours to work on her Gospel commentary, drawing parallels between the readings and the life of the deceased. “I have the impression of being useful, of relieving, of sowing little seeds of hope. » For her, she does a discreet work of evangelization. “We still work for the kingdom of God. »
Extend support after death
On the reflection side, the team has organized in recent years a conference on the end of life with the former Minister of Health Agnès Firmin Le Bodo and the Bishop of Le Havre, Jean-Luc Brunin, another looking at the death of a priest and a pastor, another on Saint Thérèse and the death… “It also allows people who are far from the Church and who have questions to cross the porch”believes François-Xavier Chaigneau.
Some have other dreams to deploy this place. Offering regular rosaries for the deceased and suffering families, imagines Henri Leclerc, responsible for third places of Church in the diocese. Or set up spiritual support for families after the death. For him, it is the vocation of the Church which has “an extraordinary message of hope to convey”.
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L'Escale de Rachel in Lille, an initiative for spiritual support after bereavement
Three years ago, L'Escale de Rachel was founded in Lille, a Church initiative which allows bereaved people to talk about their suffering and express their difficulties with the word of God. The team offers personal support, with the reading of a biblical text and a prayer, but also “mourning cafés”, where bereaved people meet once a month to share and exchange advice. Four retreats per year are also organized, generally in a place close to nature.
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