Imagine for a moment: your loved one is at the end of their life and you are spending time with them. You hold his hand, but words fail you. Thousands of Quebecers experience this moment every year, often without being prepared for it.
Posted at 1:17 a.m.
Updated at 3:00 p.m.
Marcel Pennors
Support volunteer at the PalliAmi foundation, candidate for the Volunteer of Canada award in the Thérèse-Casgrain category for lifetime achievement
What if we could transform these last moments into moments of peace, reconciliation, even beauty? It is possible and I have witnessed it for 37 years as a volunteer.
It was in 1976, when my father died, that I first understood what end-of-life care was. At the time, the term “palliative care” was not yet common, but that is exactly what my father received.
He was surrounded by a priest, a nurse and his family, all attentive to his well-being, both physical and moral. This experience sowed a seed that germinated years later, leading me to get involved with the PalliAmi foundation in 1987.
But these days, what exactly do we mean by palliative care? In fact, it is a global approach aimed at relieving pain, but also providing comfort, dignity and serenity to people at the end of their lives and their loved ones. At the Foundation, we bring this human touch in various forms: sometimes by offering a patient the opportunity to have their hair done, listen to a musical performance or benefit from a massage, sometimes by listening attentively to their memories .
The importance of opening dialogue
Over the years, I have learned that the key is in the words. Talking about the end of life is not easy and often remains taboo. However, it is of paramount importance. It is not a question of making it a heavy and anxiety-provoking subject, but rather of talking about it simply and not waiting for the moment when we are confronted with this difficult reality to express our wishes.
Over the past decades, I have accompanied hundreds of people and their loved ones. I have seen patients leave in peace, surrounded by their loved ones. I even heard a patient confide to me that he had just experienced one of the best moments of his life, directly in the palliative care unit of the Notre-Dame hospital of the CIUSSS Centre-Sud. However, for some, arriving at palliative care is very difficult, especially if it has never been discussed. Some people, faced with this difficult stage, simply do not want to talk about their needs and desires, which sometimes makes it difficult to provide the support offered to them to soften these moments.
Volunteering with people at the end of their lives taught me humility, the importance of listening, the value of presence. These moments, as difficult as they are, can be of deep meaning and beauty.
On this Palliative Care Day, I invite you to open a dialogue with your loved ones. Let’s not wait until the last moment to talk about our wishes with family and friends. By demystifying palliative care and encouraging these essential conversations, we can collectively improve the quality of life of those nearing the end and provide valuable support to their loved ones. Death is not grandiose, but it is exceptional at the same time. This is a reality that cannot be ignored, so let’s talk about it.
What do you think? Participate in the dialogue
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