- Author, Laura Plitt
- Role, BBC News World
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4 hours ago
More object, less object, the vast majority of us live surrounded by absolutely useless things.
From old clothes to unworn clothes, household appliances of dubious use to photos of people whose names we don’t even remember, we tend to accumulate way more than we need to live.
And if sometimes we don’t know what to do with all this mess, imagine the headache that your belongings can represent for your family the day you cease to exist.
The Swedes seem to have found a very pragmatic way to deal with this situation: they organize and get rid of most of their belongings before the grim reaper comes knocking on their door.
This is a practice called death feeding -a relatively recent term for an ancient custom – which combines the words dö (death) and städning (cleaning or tidying up).
This “cleansing before death” consists of getting rid of everything that is useless before leaving this world. A practice that the nonagenarian Swedish artist Margaret Magnusson explique en détail dans « The Swedish art of tidying up before death » (Reservoir Books, 2017).
Basically, “the idea is to not leave a bunch of stuff behind when you die. Waste that other people will have to take care of,” Magnusson explains to BBC Mundo.
“In the consumerist culture we live in, döstädning is a way to help those you leave behind,” she adds.
The idea is so simple that one could say that it requires no explanation, except that the death of a family member has left many a person with a mountain of unresolved problems, things to organize and endless sorrow.
“One day, when you’re no longer here, your family will have to take care of all your affairs, and I think that’s not fair,” Mr. Magnusson says in a video she recorded with her daughter.
“Think about the people you love, you want to put all your trash in their lap. And think about your favorite things: should they end up in a trash can? “, she explains to BBC Mundo.
“I’ve had to tidy up so many times after someone else’s death that I would never want to force someone to do it after my death,” adds the author, who has had to deal with what her father, mother and husband left behind after their death.
The artist recognizes, however, that the process is not easy for everyone.
“Taking inventory of all our old things, remembering the last time we used them and saying goodbye to some of them isn’t easy for many of us. People are more likely to accumulate things than to throw them away,” she writes in her book.
But she admits that she still does this kind of cleaning because “I like everything to be tidy.”
“I liked taking a tour of my memories, of my life. Giving things to my grandchildren and my children.”
“I don’t see it as a sad thing,” she said, “but more as a relief.”
Let’s get to work
If this Nordic concept appeals to you and you think it might be useful to you, Magnusson offers several suggestions on how to approach the task.
First of all, start by looking at what you have in your attic, cellar or hall cupboards. It is about places that are not visible and where little-used items tend to end up, the ones you don’t know what to do with and maybe don’t even remember you have.
You can also think of a young relative or friend to whom you can give objects that you no longer need and that will be useful to you.
“Start with the important things. The tables, the chairs, the furniture. Then we move on to smaller things like clothes or pots and pans,” she explains to BBC Mundo.
When it comes to clothes, she says that the ideal is to have a wardrobe containing only what you like to wear, clothes that can be combined with each other, that you could go to see almost every day. eyes closed and from which we would always come out well dressed.
The proof is the majority of photos you will see of her on the internet, where she always wears plain pants and an unchanging striped T-shirt.
Items that only concern you, such as keepsakes, letters, diaries or intimate photos, can be kept in a box labeled with the name of a trusted person, with clear instructions for their disposal. disposed of without inspecting the contents.
It is also recommended to get a paper shredder to destroy very private, harmful or simply unnecessary documents.
Unresolved issues or situations with friends or family members are equally important: it is good to try to clear them up before it is too late.
Passwords to access websites and digital accounts, you can leave them written down somewhere to make it easier for those left behind, she says.
Finally, you can organize (or throw away) photos, memories.
It’s always best to wait until the end, “otherwise you’ll be trapped in the memory chest and you won’t be able to do anything,” she explains.
It is best to do this alone, the goal being not to overburden others.
Conversation difficile
When is the ideal time to tackle this task?
“If you’re in the final stretch, don’t wait too long…” writes the artist.
She suggests starting at least age 65, but actually believes it’s better to start as early as possible.
“Start early, before you are too old and too weak to do it,” advises Ms. Magnusson, who says she does a little every day.
“It’s never too early. It is only too late when you are already dead,” she explains to BBC Mundo.
“You won’t regret it, and neither will your loved ones,” she says.
And if we’re not thinking about ourselves but about our parents, Magnusson suggests having this discussion with them at some point.
“Of course it’s not easy, but I think if you don’t do it while they’re alive, it will be hell for you later,” she explains.
“You have to be a little rude and maybe go with them to the cellar or attic and ask them what they want to do with this or that, and if you can help them downsize their belongings.
“I don’t think they will get angry,” concludes Mr. Magnusson.