“She died badly”: Marc Lavoine pays tribute to his missing mother and explains his great regret

Offer her another ending, more worthy of her. This was Marc Lavoine's wish in publishing a dreamlike and poignant novel dedicated to his deceased mother, in which he imagines the last three weeks of her life. “She died badly, my mother, I remember being at home and hearing myself say: if you don’t get her out of there, she’s going to die.” confides the singer, in the video at the top of this article, replay of the “Portrait of the week” broadcast on TF1 in “Sept à Huit” this Sunday, January 12.

“We had put her in a clinic next to her house, from where I didn't take her out because I didn't want to piss off, annoy the neighbor, the people who were friends with her, it was his little world”, he continues with emotion in front of Audrey Crespo-Mara, in this interview also available on TF1+. “I blamed myself for that for a long time, I felt very guilty for not having moved because she could have lived a few more years, it's those years that I regret, she was still young, she was 73 years old, he adds, specifying that“They operated on her three times, put her to sleep three times and she was very fragile under the anesthesia.”

“A courageous woman who worked hard”

In this novel entitled When the horses arrive (Fayard), subtitled “The novel of a mare”, in bookstores on January 15, Marc Lavoine confides that his mother was “All” for him. And to detail: “Everything she inspired me, everything she told me, and what she didn't tell me, I write it down, it's quite faithful to who she is, character.”

“She was a courageous woman who worked a lot, cleaned, cooked, took care of us and the other children who were there”remembers Marc Lavoine, who specifies “that there were always friends to eat the things she made and fortunately we were there because it filled her life which was quite solitary”.

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Regarding this solitude, the interpreter of “Eyes Revolver” explains that his mother “loved one man in her life, just one, she waited for him like a dead leaf on a bed, he always went elsewhere, until she decided to end things with him.” And to specify: “She was a woman who believed in God, it was a secret between us, we shouldn’t tell my father, we didn’t talk too much about priests with my father who was a non-believer, and a communist”.

“I lost my mother and I lost myself”

“There is something inside you that is dying”, continues the singer who, unable to survive his mother, felt responsible for her death until the release of his novel and was destroying himself. “When she died, I lost my faith, because I lost my mother and I lost myself,” modestly sums up the one who specifies that he “always felt good in his eyes” and that he was “crazy about her”. And to add: “She was everything to me, she was my fixed point of reference, she was the woman I loved.” In this open-hearted interview with Audrey Crespo Mara, Marc Lavoine also talks at length about the day of his disappearance. “J‘I was in the Gers writing songs and it was my wife at the time who called me to say: your mother is dead. And I knew she was going to die, so I went to the hospital, to this famous clinic, and when I got back to where she was, my legs were gone, I fell to the ground, my brother picked me up afterwards , I don't remember what I did.” he remembers, whispering that “It’s tricky to say these things.”

Long years of mourning followed, difficult for the artist. “Je I don't really know what I did in fact for years, I was a bit on autopilot mode, lacking her, in private, I was a bit dark”, explains the former coach of The Voice, who admits to having fallen into a form of depression and having become “a little crazy” at this period. “I didn’t accept, I didn’t let her go actually.”