“Loneliness actually shows us what our deepest need is: living connected with others,” says relationship expert Rika Ponnet. “You can see it as an engine to do exactly what brings fulfillment: approaching people and focusing on connection.”
Although it is also possible to feel lonely when you are surrounded. “I think we’ve all experienced that: standing in a crowded café and still having the feeling that you don’t belong. Young people in particular often have that feeling: ‘I feel so different’ or ‘I’m just pretending ‘.”
Social media, despite their sometimes bad reputation, also brings a feeling of connection, according to Ponnet. “But it is a much more short-lived fulfillment of that desire for connection than meeting someone in person,” she says. “Being connected requires a form of slowing down: making space and time for the other.”
To conclude, the expert gives another important tip: “What really gives someone the feeling that he or she belongs: asking that person to do something for you, instead of trying to do something for the other person. That gives someone a deep sense of meaning, that they are contributing to someone else’s life.”
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