Author Martin Suter: “The death of my wife left me speechless”

Martin Suter and Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre talk about flowers, piercings, robotic lawnmowers and love in their new book. And they give tips on how condolences should be expressed after a death.

«It is always said: life goes on. But that’s not true,” said Martin Suter on the TV show “Faces & Stories” on September 23, 2023.

It was the best-selling author’s first public appearance after the death of his wife Margrith Nay Suter. She died on May 9, 2023 at the age of 72.

The Suters were a couple for 48 years. Margrith Nay Suter was the writer’s great love and the first reader of his books and columns.

Martin Suter was once asked how a relationship could work for so long and he answered, in his highly distilled style: “It helps when you love each other.”

Flowers, camping and robotic lawnmowers

Martin Suter said about the beginning and end of his marriage in November 2023 in “NZZ Magazin am Sonntag”:

“I remember that when the registrar said, ‘Till death do you part,’ she said somewhat furtively that she just had to say that. But I found the sentence correct. And now it has arrived. Unfortunately, too early.”

Now 76-year-old Martin Suter is speaking, no, writing once again about the death of his wife. The book “No Reason to Shout” is published today, Wednesday.

It is the second volume of conversations that the Swiss best-selling author has produced together with Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre. The 49-year-old is often described as a pop star of contemporary German literature. This time the unlikely duo talks about flowers, camping, intoxicants, robotic lawnmowers and love, among other things.

There is a powerful moment in the new volume of conversations when the two men talk about the phrase “heartfelt condolences” and Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre asks Martin Suter:

“How did you feel about the general trepidation around you in the weeks and months after Margrith’s death?”

“Of course you are speechless,” answers Suter. «I have received many such condolences, and some have resorted to these formulas. But there were also many people who did something that really touched me: They wrote down their memories with Margrith and sent them to me.

“Mourning prose shrouded in sympathy”

Martin Suter says in the book that he can only recommend that anyone who ever needs to send condolences in writing should do so. “Capturing memories” is the best thing in such a situation. “I know that now as a consumer of this form of literature.”

Meanwhile, Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre adds: “Yes, it is more concrete and makes more sense than this protocol-stuttering stumble in the fog: ‘It’s not even comprehensible yet.’”

And further: “That’s meant kindly, but it’s mournful sympathy prose that means nothing other than: I don’t have the words, that’s why I borrowed these from the standard rhetorical dances.”

Ana Suter: “You get a pink one, daddy”

Margrith Nay Suter is a recurring theme in the book by Martin Suter and Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre. It is the moments in the conversation volume that make it particularly worth reading.

Sometimes the two commissioned authors just talk like that in the 320-page book.

Yes, not all punchlines are good – just like in life. The duo’s fans remember: It was no different in their first joint work, “Everyone has become so serious,” which was published in 2020.

It gets particularly nice in the new conversation volume when Ana, Martin Suter’s daughter, joins in. She does it when it comes to the topic of “piercings”. «Can you lend us an earring, please? “Martin has a pierced ear, did you know that?” asks Stuckrad-Barre.

As a result, Suter’s ear is examined to see whether it is still in operation, i.e. whether it can be operated.

Ana: “You get a rose, Daddy.”

Stuckrad-Barre: “A rose, very good. Can you please put it through there, Ana? You have a lot more practice at it.”

Suter: “Will it go through?”

Ana: «Pretty easy, actually. So.”

Stuckrad-Barre: “That looks incredibly good. I have to take a photo of you real quick, Martin, a close-up of your ear. I wouldn’t believe myself later.”

“No reason to scream like that,” Martin Suter and Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre, 320 pages, Diogenes Verlag, 35 francs.

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