The Cactus: Jérôme de Warzée gives advice to the Belgians in the event of an invasion of the country

Sweden and Finland sent five million brochures to their residents, encouraging them to prepare for the possibility of war against Russia. In the Cactus of 8/9Jérôme de Warzée gives his own advice to the Belgians.

If Russia were on our doorstep today, the sending of the brochures would have to be urgently entrusted to B-Post, so we all know that we will not have it before Friday, at best Monday in fifteen. We must therefore anticipate, Jérôme recommends offering them only one access route, the E411. Given its condition, they will either get stuck in it or think the areas have already been bombed. Moreover, in Liège, the trenches have already been ready for a long time.

Then, clearly identify places to take shelter in the event of an alert. Of course, it’s distressing to stay cloistered in a dark room, where you are alone and depressed, when you are not used to going to see Belgian films at the cinema.

Other instructions, if the enemy wants to drink, give him Chièvres water. If the enemy does not have gas masks, we throw Herve cheeses in his face. If the enemy wants to negotiate, we send Bart De Wever and Conner Rousseau together. There, it is they who will wave the white flag.

If you capture the enemy and want to make him confess, we put headphones on his ears and play the latest duet of Damso and Angèle loudly. Be careful, don’t make him listen to the whole album, otherwise you will have the International Tribunal in The Hague on your back.

Now, Mr. Putin, if you are ready to pay 1.7 million to fire Tedesco, our door remains open.