We can no longer count the number of articles that explain to us that being ourselves is no longer enough, that we must surpass ourselves, actualize our potential and become what we dream of being. Be competent? Insufficient. You have to become exceptional. Does our job give us satisfaction? A prison if it doesn’t involve any climbing.
We see self-proclaimed motivation experts popping up almost everywhere who use the Coué method or the law of attraction, yet invalidated for decades, the keystones of their demonstrations. Our brain would condition us to like security and therefore not to leave our sofa, which would lead us to “stay poor and mediocre all our lives.” These clichés, which encourage us to tirelessly seek an enhanced vision of ourselves, are nevertheless based on a promise that is as fallacious as it is toxic: it would be possible to be happy in the absence of limits.
At the same time, the latest studies from Public Health France rather show a growing trend in depressive states among employees and young adults, an increase in cases of burn-out, as well as increasingly serious anxiety disorders.
Is it so valuable to constantly seek to surpass ourselves without ever satisfying ourselves, if this systematically results in a deterioration of our physical, mental and social health? Would there be salvation only in leaving our comfort zone, happiness only in pain?
Your comfort zone determines the success of your efforts
Psychology breaks down happiness into two dimensions. The hedonic component which corresponds to the pleasures of life and the eudaimonic component which implies a movement, a journey generating satisfaction for oneself. Researcher Barbara Fredrickson conceptualized the “broaden and build” theory which tends to show that when we expand our scope and try new activities, we increase our repertoire of behavioral responses and we cope better with life’s difficulties (“ The Role of Positive Emotions in Positive Psychology », American Psychologist, 2001).
In short, when we discover something new, we force our brain to adapt to it and the new skills acquired through this experience are partly transferable to other areas of our life. Could this then be a manifesto for a systematic exit from our comfort zone? Should we do violence to ourselves regularly and go on an eternal quest for new things to better adapt to the world? Let’s reverse the question and instead ask ourselves the question of what determines boldness in human beings? What can make us step out of our comfort zone and familiar subjects to embrace the new and discover new horizons?
To dare, you have to feel safe. The news treatment methods for specific phobias are an excellent example. When a person has a phobia of spiders, throwing a bucket of tarantulas in their face will terrorize them and entrench their phobia even more deeply. We now know from the scientific literature that only gradual exposure to the stimulus generating the phobia allows a reduction in symptoms. It is because the person is delicately and gradually led to confront himself that he learns to manage himself better.
The first studies on attachment in the middle of the 20th century by the psychiatrist John Bowlby show how “secure” attachment with the parent allows the child to show boldness in his exploratory behaviors. The safer he feels, the more he explores his environment. The less secure it is, the closer it remains to its parent.
In a professional situation, studies on the psychological safety climate make the same observation. When a person feels safe in a professional relationship, it means that they can talk about their difficulty or their vulnerability, without being made to feel guilty or without others asserting their superiority. Professional environments characterized by a good climate of psychological safety encourage greater performance and quality of learning (“ Managing the Risk of Learning: Psychological Safety in Work Teams », de Amy C. Edmondson, International Handbook of Organizational Teamwork and Cooperative Working, 2008).
It is therefore the comfort zone (in the sense of psychological safety) which allows us to go beyond the strict expectations and promotes the sustainability of our efforts.
From a managerial point of view, this perspective opens up interesting practical applications. It first allows us to confirm that the injunction to succeed or management through pressure is neither effective nor motivational. The old conceptions of motivation centered on the carrot and the stick, believing that we will generate audacity and efforts by threat or bait should therefore be abandoned.
For a work group to be efficient, there is no point in brutalizing it; on the contrary, it is better to offer it the guarantee of psychological security, a right to make mistakes and a form of comfort to then invite you to grow and develop.
In other words, to get out of your comfort zone, you still need to have one and take care of it. It is by feeling supported and confident that we find the energy and courage necessary to explore new horizons. Everything is based on management capable of valuing efforts more than results, and which encourages taking initiatives as well as speaking out.
When the company promotes true psychological safety, everyone, at their own pace, can then push their own limits; not by injunction, but by motivation, driven by an authentic desire for progress. The comfort zone is not a prison from which we must escape, but a protective cocoon from which we can calmly take flight.
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