Ebstein: An important lesson from Winston Churchill and his best friend

By Jill Ebstein | Founder, Sized Right Marketing

November will likely be a difficult month for many Americans. The outcome of the election — whichever way it goes — will cause angst and more for much of our country. At the same time, November is the month we celebrate Thanksgiving, and gratitude may be hard for some to find. Winston Churchill might have the antidote for us, and it gets filed under the topic of “friendships.”

We know how meaningful friendships are to maintaining a healthy outlook on life, and science backs this up. Based on a review of 38 studies, researchers found that friendships significantly predict well-being and can protect us in numerous ways, including depression and anxiety. Research also shows that those with no or poor-quality friendships are twice as likely to die prematurely.

In the current era, sustaining our friendships can be challenging, and our anxiety runs deep. We tend to be “birds of a feather,” typically staying within our echo chambers with like-minded people. It feels more comfortable, but it comes at a cost. We don’t allow ourselves the opportunity for more diverse thought.

With this reflection, I found a story about Winston Churchill fascinating. It turns out that his best friend did not share Churchill’s aristocratic background or his political views. F.E. Smith grew up in an industrial suburb of Liverpool and was the eldest son of seven children. Smith’s family was of modest background, and F.E. received a basic education at various Liverpool schools with low acclaim. He failed the entrance exam for Harrow, where Winston Churchill enrolled two years later. Instead, F.E. attended a school of low prestige — Wadham College, Oxford. There, he was identified as a brilliant scholar and earned “First in Jurisprudence.”

In time, F.E. would enter politics and represent industrial labor as their articulate spokesman. His Liverpool Workingman’s Conservative Association distrusted the liberal party and those aiming to restrict free trade. After practicing as an attorney, he became King’s Counsel and eventually won a seat as a Conservative MP. Once in his position, he was comfortable attacking the liberal opposition with wit and debate skills.

It didn’t take long for Churchill to become familiar with and appreciate Smith, though they were on opposite sides of the fence. Churchill had begun as a Conservative but switched to the Liberal Party when he supported free trade. This, in turn, led to his appointment as undersecretary in the new Liberal government.

Despite their political differences, there was a deep respect for each other’s intellect. While they mostly disagreed, Churchill found himself frequently seeking Smith’s counsel. Beyond Smith’s guidance, Churchill appreciated his support, which he undoubtedly needed in the many valleys of Churchill’s up-and-down career.

Smith’s support particularly counted when Churchill’s Gallipoli campaign failed during World War I. Allied ships were to pass through the Dardanelles, capture Constantinople, and knock Ottoman Turkey out of the war. Instead, it was a draw with massive British casualties. Clementine, Churchill’s wife, observed how Smith alone would try to sustain Churchill with visits, letters and the like.

Smith’s loyalty caused Churchill to characterize Smith as possessing “canine virtues,” and it would be one of many times Smith supported Churchill despite their significant philosophical differences.

Their differences were many. Smith thought Churchill, as Home Secretary in 1910, should use troops to combat striking Welsh miners. Smith also opposed the Liberal Party’s “People Budget.” However, after Smith was promoted to attorney general and Churchill was in exile, Smith continued to support him, which helps explain why Churchill said of their friendship, “It was one of my most precious possessions.”

As we proceed into November, facing the presidential election and the Thanksgiving holiday, is there a lesson we can take from Churchill and Smith’s friendship? A little research reveals there are many “odd” friendships between people who would seem to be philosophically very different. Hunter Thompson, of counterculture fame, was close friends with conservative politician Pat Buchanan. Ulysses S. Grant was close friends with James Longstreet, who fought for Gen. Robert E. Lee and the Confederate army. It was Longstreet who persuaded Lee to surrender to Grant. From their time together as cadets at West Point, Longstreet knew Grant would be generous in terms.

Many friendships defy the odds and make a difference. It would contribute to our health if we could reach out this November and find a friend like F.E. Smith was to Churchill — a person whose views are different but whose friendship is real.

Can we do that?

Jill Ebstein is the editor of the “At My Pace” series of books and founder of Sized Right Marketing, a Massachusetts consulting firm. Reader reactions, pro or con, are welcomed at [email protected].