When you become a parent, your relationship to time, space and privacy changes. “The relationship between adults will become richer and more complex.”explains Nadia Morand, clinical sexologist. “It’s not necessarily negative, but we have to adapt so that the parental couple doesn’t take up all the space.” Indeed, it happens too often that lovers move away from each other when a child arrives.
For what reasons?
“First of all, basic needs, including sleep in particular, are no longer met,” explains Nadia Morand. “But if we don’t sleep enough, the rest becomes a chore and a constraint.” Including sex.
Another cause: an imbalance in the sharing of tasks and roles. Because “ To make the marital couple last and live, time and space are needed for each of the partners”she continues. “If a sharing takes place, where one of the partners takes care of the children exclusively and carries the mental load, while the other is turned towards the outside, this cannot work in love.”
Everyone must find the space and time to enjoy the interior of the home, the child and also the outside life with pleasure. This is how both people will have the opportunity to feel desire for the other.
Make an appointment
But of course, even with all these elements, both lovers must be willing to make the effort to keep the flame of desire alive.. “In this regard, it is interesting to make appointments to spend time together regularly,” advises Nadia Morand. As a parent, we have less availability and creating specific moments for the couple is a proven method. “It’s not about planning sex, but about meeting up for a movie, a walk or something else so that the field of possibilities leaves room for desire,” she concludes.
