“Why do we manage to get along every day? Because there are two of us feeding the fire!”says Rémy, 38, an engineer, married for fifteen years to Clémence, 37, a marriage counselor (the witnesses interviewed for this article wished to remain anonymous). They both met when they were first in love, at 19 and 18. And they went through two decades hand in hand: half of their lives, in other words. “We don’t realize all the challenges that this represents. »they readily confide.
Now settled in the suburbs of Lyon, they are raising three children aged 1 to 10. “When we got married, we made a rather crazy promise to each other to see our story through to the end together.continues Rémy. We had 20, 25, 30 years together. Everything we build inspires confidence in me. Marriage was in their DNA, with parents united for forty years on each side, friends and siblings also married. Around them, few divorces. “It gave us perspectiveadmits Clémence. There was probably less anxiety in the commitment than if we had known the pain of their separation.”
Now, nearly one in two couples divorce, compared to 12% in the 1970s and 30% in 1985, according to INSEE and the Ministry of Justice. Outside marriage, separations are even more frequent and they occur at an increasingly early age, according to a study by INSEE-INED: among unions that began around 1990, 17% of marriages and 30% of those outside marriages were broken up before ten years. “It will become less and less common to live your life with just one partner”predicted demographer France Prioux in 2005 in an article entitled “Marriage, life as a couple and union breakdown”. In this context, couples in their thirties or forties who reach the crystal wedding anniversary (fifteen years), or even the porcelain wedding anniversary (twenty years), in terms of years of marriage or dating, are considered marathon runners.
“When I tell a stranger that my boyfriend and I have been together for twenty-three years, I see perplexity.”jokes Emeline, 46, a Parisian editor, living with Lisandre, 45, a journalist (they insisted on changing their first names). After having long advocated “no kids”, these bon vivants decided to become parents ten years ago. Their children are now 9 and 4 years old. “Under our trendy urban exterior, we have a very conventional idealshe notes. A dad, a mom, two children, we can do more original, right? However, we are not trying to achieve a record, we are together because we always want to be.” A model that they share with a group of study friends, couples formed at the same time and still together. A matter of “good partner” ? “Day by day, we have the strong feeling of having found the right person”recognizes Emeline.
You have 81.53% of this article left to read. The rest is reserved for subscribers.
Related News :