These wedding photographers denounce the disrespect of certain clients

As a result of being left out with cold meal trays, many wedding photographers are now mentioning the issue of the meal in black and white in their contract. Industry professionals tell of weddings where they were snubbed by the bride and groom, the caterer or even the guests.

When Flavie* covers a wedding, she always packs chocolate bars in her backpack. You never know. At a ceremony in Normandy a few years ago, the photographer found herself eating a few pieces of bread, alone and sitting on packs of water stored in a sort of closet, kept separate from the rest of the evening: “They hadn’t planned anything at all for the service providers: no table, no food.”

“The worst thing was that they had the audacity to offer me the leftovers from the guests when everyone had finished eating… which I obviously declined,” says the 36-year-old woman.

Her contract – signed by the bride and groom – specifies that she must be served “a hot meal at the table” during the evening. “I asked if they had a chair for me to sit on, but even that wasn’t there,” the professional recalls.

“Out of 15 marriages, there is always one!”

Petits-fours, sequins and confetti… Wedding days are, in the collective imagination, inevitably synonymous with joy, celebration and sharing around the happy newlyweds. But the reality is sometimes quite different for service providers, when they are not treated up to par by their clients. When it’s time to sit down at the table, they are sometimes pushed aside, or even completely snubbed.

Flavie admits that in her eight-year career, this has fortunately not happened to her every day. However, she notes that it is a discussion that comes up very frequently in the small world of wedding photographers. “Out of 15 weddings per season, there is always one!” she sighs.

Photographer Laura Tremeau confirms that the hospitality of the bride and groom sometimes leaves something to be desired, although the conditions of the dinner are written in black and white in her contract. She insists on the need to have a break to eat, as would be the case for any other professional mission. “We are often there since early in the morning, we do not have time to take a break during the day and then we still have to hold out until 1 a.m.,” defends the young woman. “It seems logical to me.”

This did not prevent her, four years ago, from being relegated to the children’s table. “It was very special,” complains this 26-year-old professional, originally from La-Roche-sur-Yon (Vendée). “I stayed as little time as possible at the table, because you can imagine that it is not easy to have conversations with 5-year-olds. I would go outside to smoke, take photos here and there.” “I only came back to the table to eat,” she says, still irritated by such a “lack of consideration.”

The young woman also remembers a wedding last year where she had to eat with the DJ on an unset table in a small corner of the function room. “There was no decoration, nothing, and asking for water and a bottle of coke or sparkling water was complicated…”

“It was so ridiculous that the guests felt sorry for us. They would walk past us and say, ‘So, are you being punished?'”

Cold pizzas in a starred restaurant

Benjamin Brette also remembers an anecdote that left a lasting impression on him: one day when he was immortalizing a wedding in one of the greatest Michelin-starred restaurants in Paris, the photographer had the disappointment of discovering that cold pizzas had been reserved for him, ordered from a chain and delivered several hours earlier… which he had to eat alone in an isolated room, away from the rest of the guests.

“I’m not very picky, but the gap between the gourmet meal that was reserved for the guests and my disgusting pizzas was honestly a bit sickening,” recalls the 49-year-old.

For Laura Termeau, “an omerta” persists around this issue. “We talk about it a lot among ourselves, but very few dare to complain publicly for fear of tarnishing the image and the magical atmosphere of the wedding,” she explains. “We sometimes receive treatment that is not very humane.”

“It’s an extremely delicate situation,” explains the Vendée woman. “We can’t really go and see the bride and groom because we don’t want to spoil the party, create conflict or make them feel uncomfortable on the big day, when it’s supposed to be the happiest day of their lives.”

“Food is a sensitive subject among photographers,” adds his colleague Loric Gonzalez. “When our plates are taken away and cold meal trays are brought to us in front of the guests who are going to enjoy great hot menus, it’s a bit hard to swallow,” continues the 38-year-old photographer. “We’re definitely disappointed, especially since we don’t really know if the intention comes from the bride and groom or the caterer who is looking to make economies of scale.”

“When this happens I continue to do my job as I have to, but of course I enjoy it a lot less,” he continues to complain. “It’s a job we love, we give our heart and soul all day long, only to end up being treated like this… It hurts and it upsets.”

Photographers subjected to verbal abuse

This professional, who has been going from wedding to wedding all over France for about ten years, reports another problem that he and his colleagues frequently face in the field: verbal – or even physical – aggression from guests against a backdrop of alcohol consumption. “Once an hour has passed, some people are no longer bearable and it often happens that a completely confused uncle or cousin insults us or tells us to go away because we ruin his photos of the bride and groom, for example.”

“Under the pretext that we are service providers, we are underlings and marriage is a lawless zone where we can’t say anything because it’s supposed to be magical and we don’t want to spoil the party,” castigates Loric Gonzalez.

Now, the thirty-year-old systematically asks before the wedding to be put in contact with “a reference person” – who is not one of the two married couples – to whom he can address to report any problems or shortcomings during the day. And thus avoid disappointments to concentrate on the photos.