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Caroline’s brother’s grave removed: ‘It’s my fault, I’m devastated’

Caroline has been praying there every year for 25 years. “I only go there once a year. I don’t need to look at a grave to think of them. I systematically go there a few days before All Saints’ Day to clean the stones and decorate the graves with flowers. I want making sure it stays well maintained.”

A habit, this year turned upside down. As she passes the cemetery gates, chrysanthemums in hand, she collapses. His brother’s grave is no longer there. “I couldn’t believe my eyes, the earth had been turned over, the stone had disappeared. I burst into tears.”

At the moment, Caroline does not realize“I think I stood still for several minutes with the flowers in my arms. I was petrified.”

It’s like my little brother died a second time

When she returned home, she contacted the municipality. After several phone calls and long explanations, Caroline realizes the reason for this disappearance. “Mid-2023, I received reminders to extend my brother’s concession. I received several of them. I left them on my furniture without much concern. I procrastinated the payment and then I forgot about it. This is the mistake of my life.”. P

Roughly 18 months after the first letter and without a response, the municipality therefore removed the grave. “I understand the town is normal, but I am no less devastated. I will blame myself for it all my life. It’s as if my little brother had died a second time.”

Caroline therefore wants to testify anonymously. “I do this so that no one makes the same mistake as me. I was careless. It’s something I can never fix.” So that this situation does not happen again, here is how it works in the event of a renewal of funeral concessions

“It is impossible to miss the many reminders sent”

Caroline admits, she received reminders and didn’t follow up on them. These reminders are systematically sent to the concession holder when it comes to an end, in accordance with a procedure imposed by the Walloon Public Service. “At least one year before the end of the concession or its renewal, the mayor draws up an act reminding that a renewal request must be sent before the expiry. A copy of the act is sent to the holder of the concession or , if he is deceased, to his beneficiaries.”

A most classic rental lease

“The municipality will not stop at this approach”, explains Xavier Deflorenne, head of the funeral unit of the SPW Interior and Social Action. “One month after sending the reminder, the information will also be displayed on the grave and at the entrance to the cemetery.” The municipality will maintain this display for one year. “Normally, if it is done intelligently, it should cover two days of All Saints’ Day. This way, it is impossible to miss the many reminders sent. According to our statistics, if no one comes to a grave for two years, it will not will never be visited anyway.”

Thanks to this public display, any interested person can submit a request to renew the concession. Neighbors, friends, colleagues may feel invested with a duty to remember. “I once saw a person renew the grave of his nurse. This lady had no children, and he felt the need to hold out his hand to her one last time.”

An exception may prevail over this process. “If the grave is not maintained, for example, if stones fall or moss accumulates, the municipality has the right to take action. She will post a notice on the grave for one year. If, after a year, nothing changes, the city will reclaim the location. We can compare this to a more traditional rental lease. When your tenant does not respect the rental, it is normal to react. In the case of a funeral concession, the principle is completely the same.

Prices and deadlines that fluctuate

If the recall procedure is strict, the price list and renewal duration are much less so. These two points are defined by the municipalities. Rates are generally higher in larger cities. For example, Namur offers 25-year concessions at a price of up to €850. Leuze-en-Hainaut, a smaller municipality, offers a term of 30 years for €400. The price may also increase if the deceased did not reside in the region and if he is buried in the ground or in a vault.

Municipalities can also choose the duration of the renewal. The Walloon Public Service simply imposes a range to be respected. “Concessions are granted for a minimum period of ten years and a maximum of thirty years.”

Xavier Deflorenne highlights an exception: “Graves from before 1945 are protected. These deadlines are therefore not always applicable. If the municipality wants them withdraw, she must take additional steps. The objective of this measure is to protect the concessions of veterans or historical figures.”

The SPW nevertheless specifies that despite these deadlines, which at first glance are strict, as long as the grave is not removed, the municipalities are supposed to be magnanimous and tolerant.

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