The two sons of a violent father delivered heartbreaking statements Friday at the Quebec courthouse.
The 40-year-old man, whom we will call Simon*, was found guilty of several offenses of assault and death threats against his ex-partner and three of his four sons in May. Judge Stéphane Poulin must now impose a sentence on him.
The two oldest boys put into words the terrible consequences of a childhood spent in fear, where every visit to the arena ended with an angry father, insults or beatings.
They no longer have any contact with their father and were not present at the courthouse. They asked their mother’s best friend, a very present figure in their lives, to read their statement in court.
“I mean you no harm, but I was in so much pain and I never want to go through that again. […] I can never thank mom enough for getting us out of all this violence. You were supposed to be our security, our protector, you were supposed to love us, no matter our personality or our intelligence,” the first boy wrote.
During the trial, the father maintained that he had nothing to reproach himself for. He accused his ex of making it all up and forcing the boys to lie. Judge Poulin never believed his version.
“Will you ever be able to admit what you did and stop saying we’re all liars? If one day you are capable, we will see, but for now I ask you to forget me.”
Arena Father
Simon had maintained a climate of violence and fear within his family for several years before his ex had the courage to leave him. This toxic atmosphere mainly revolved around hockey; the two oldest played in sport at a competitive level in the Quebec region. Every mistake triggered Simon’s tantrums. Each explanation was not enough. The boys had to face their father’s terror after games, no matter the outcome.
“Hockey is my passion. Today I love this sport, because it is healthy and makes me vibrate. In my memories, this sport was a time of many nightmares because of you.
He hit them when he got angry, but he especially hit their mother. The boys have painful memories of it.
“Living in constant fear and stress is unbearable. When I was little, I was terrified, I saw you hit my mother, I was scared in my stomach,” writes the other boy.
Five years after the start of legal proceedings, the brothers are still trying to rebuild their lives, one day at a time.
“I need you to leave us alone. I don’t understand why you refuse to accept that you destroyed me. […]All you taught me was impulsiveness. In difficult times, I don’t know how to control myself and I’m very angry with you for that. You should have taught me gentleness, respect and love. Instead, you showed me damn violence. I’m afraid of looking like you.”
The two boys’ words couldn’t be clearer. Despite the statements, the father continues to attribute part of the responsibility to his ex.
“We just want to heal away from you. I am proud of myself for protecting my children. I will fight all my life for them, no matter what monster gets in their way,” wrote the mother of Simon’s children in her statement.
She notes that the psychological after-effects are worse than all the blows received.
Simon’s four children are now aged 9 to 17.
Witnesses
A friend of Simon’s came to testify for him during the hearings on Friday. He painted the portrait of such a kind man, always there to help his family.
He praised the accused for much of the afternoon. Simon is his model; an experienced father who wears his heart on his sleeve.
This friend admitted to knowing little about Simon’s legal proceedings, or even the nature of the charges against him, for which he was found guilty.
“Aren’t you surprised to learn all this today?” asks the prosecutor Me Louis Durand Bluteau.
“No, because I don’t believe he could have done that,” the witness replied.
According to the defense lawyer, the witness simply described Simon as he knows him and believes that his friend is not a violent man. He entrusts his child to her very often and insists on saying how well he takes care of him.
Simon’s psychologist also testified in his defense on Friday. In particular, she described his passion for his work as a nurse, which he hopes to keep. She notes several improvements in the management of her emotions, in particular. According to her, Simon better understands the actions he took, thanks to therapy.
Absolution or prison?
Me Susan Corriveau suggested to Judge Poulin to grant a conditional discharge to her client. With a criminal record, he will not be able to work as a nurse.
She believes that her pain is already great: that of having lost contact with her children.
According to her, society has nothing to gain from sending a healthcare worker to prison. His client has also reportedly respected all of his release conditions since the charges were filed, which proves his good character.
If Judge Poulin decides to overturn the absolution, he should impose a sentence to be served in the community, believes Mr. Corriveau.
With a diametrically opposed vision, the public prosecutor is proposing a sentence of 54 months for this violent arena father. Me Durand Bluteau will justify his suggestion during a final day of hearing, in January.
*Fictitious name: An order protects the boys’ identities and prevents us from revealing information that could identify them, such as their father’s name.
