2. Terrifier 3
Horrible horror film by Damien Leone. Starring Lauren LaVera, David Howard Thornton, Jason Patric, Bryce Johnson and Elliott Fullam. Duration: 2 hours 05 minutes
What was this thing about again?
Resurrected again, Art the clown brings out his blunt objects to torture, kill and erupt geysers of blood. Notable difference: it takes place at Christmas, and not at Halloween.
Why we almost threw up
The good horror film is undoubtedly the one that scares the most while showing the least. For the third time, the first in the cinema, Damien Leone does the complete opposite: he shows everything, cuts out, tears, strips the skin. In short, zigouille at all costs while shedding more blood than in the 21 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy united. We didn't almost vomit: we vomited.
ALSO READ | Why “Terrifier 3” is only “not recommended for under 18s” in Belgium
3. Venom : the Last Dance
SF action film by Kelly Marcel. With Tom Hardy, Juno Temple, Alanna Ubach, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Rhys Ifans and Stephen Graham. Duration: 1:50
What was this thing about again?
Following their latest exploits, Venom and Eddie are on the run. The FBI is looking for them for the murder of Detective Mulligan – of which they are innocent. What injustice! The symbiote and its host therefore decide to go to New York to clarify the matter. Along the way, they discover that they are the target of other trackers, of a much naughtier kind.
Why we almost threw up
Unsurprisingly, we continue on the momentum of the previous ones. The creature with murderous instincts is perhaps slightly more endearing, but the humor is still poorly sought after. It fights, it shoots, it explodes. Nothing new or original, then. Just another action film with big, overpowered beasts.
The review published on October 23, 2024
4. Asphalt City
Dramatic thriller by Jean-Stéphane Sauvaire. With Tye Sheridan, Sean Penn, Michael Pitt, Raquel Nave, Kali Reis, Mike Tyson, Katherine Waterston and Gbenga Akinnagbe. Duration: 2 hours
What was this thing about again?
Ollie Cross, a young medical student, begins his job as an ambulance driver, alongside the very experienced Gene Rutkowski. Drugs, poverty, violence: every day, the duo is unceremoniously plunged into the hell of the ambulance.
Why we almost threw up
It's simple: it's not cinema, it's a mockumentary in which we follow two paramedics in the worst part of their job. And there too, blood (and other bodily fluids) flows freely. It's violent and unnecessarily virilistic. Sean Penn is spinning a dirty line.
5. Phew love
Dramatic romance by Gilles Lellouche. With François Civil, Adèle Exarchopoulos, Mallory Wanecque, Alain Chabat, Benoît Poelvoorde, Vincent Lacoste, Jean-Pascal Zadi, Elodie Bouchez, Karim Leklou, Raphaël Quenard and Anthony Bajon. Duration: 2 hours 45 minutes
What was this thing about again?
Jackie and Clotaire. These two apparently had nothing to get along with. But love has no use for these practical considerations. Alongside Clotaire, Jackie experiences the thrill of transgression. Clotaire finds an attentive ear, a person who sees something other than the little thug who skips school in him. Unfortunately, good things in life rarely tend to last. Jackie and Clotaire will have the painful experience…
Why we almost threw up
Under the guise of a musical, the film normalizes an unhealthy dynamic where the heroine's suffering and self-sacrifice are presented as proof of love. Instead of healthy romance, we see a problematic apologia for destructive love – a message that is not only outdated, but deeply disturbing.
The review published on October 15, 2024
6. Joker: madness for two
Dramatic romance by Todd Phillips. Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Zazie Beetz, Brendan Gleeson, Catherine Keener, Jacob Lofland, Steve Coogan and Ken Leung. Duration: 2 hours 18 minutes
What was this thing about again?
Arthur Fleck, aka the Joker, is imprisoned in Arkham awaiting his publicized trial. Through a singing lesson, Fleck meets Lee Quinzel, a psychology student voluntarily interned for setting fire to her parents' house. Between the self-confessed arsonist and the potential schizophrenic, a romance is born between dream and reality…
Why we almost threw up
Picking up the plot where the first part left it, this Joker 2 also takes up the moral and political questions. But by resting too much on the laurels of his predecessor, Folie à deux feels less like a sequel than a two-hour epilogue, or a (long) bonus DVD. Fortunately they sing, finally…
The review published on October 1, 2024
7. Kinds of Kindness
Drama comedy by Yórgos Lánthimos. Starring Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons, Willem Dafoe, Hong Chau, Margaret Qualley, Joe Alwyn, Mamoudou Athie and Hunter Schafer. Duration: 2 hours 44 minutes
What was this thing about again?
Composed of three short films which have no connection between them except the same casting (notably Jesse Plemons, Willem Dafoe and of course Emma Stone and her big eyes), Kinds of Kindness tells in turn the story of a man who is entrusted with the mission of killing a stranger, that of a man who lost his wife and who thinks that a clone has replaced her, and finally the quest for a woman seeking at all costs to return to the sect from which she was excluded.
Why we almost threw up
Lanthimos doesn't like to explain his films, inviting the audience to draw their own conclusions. For our part, we see it as an absurd questioning of free will, of the definition of happiness, and of the price we are prepared to pay to preserve it. Unfortunately, the more the film progresses, the more the meaning of it all is drowned in an escalation of unnecessary details and cruelty.
The review published on July 2, 2024
8. Golda
Biopic/Historical Drama of Guy Nattiv. With Helen Mirren, Camille Cottin, Rami Heuberger, Lior Ashkenazi, Ed Stoppard, Liev Schreiber and Dvir Benedek. Duration: 1:40
What was this thing about again?
In 1973, when the Yom Kippur War broke out, Israel was attacked by surprise by Egypt and Syria. Gathered in a crisis unit, Israeli soldiers and ministers await the arrival of the Prime Minister. But in 1973, the prime minister was a woman, Golda Meir…
Why we almost threw up
We might as well say it right away: in this film, only Helen Mirren's resemblance to the Israeli politician is a success. The rest of the film navigates between military discussions and intimate tragedies, glorifying war without showing its horror, emphasizing tragedy without any historical nuance.
The review published on January 2, 2024
9. The minion
Comedy by Alexandre Charlot & Franck Magnier. With Kad Merad, Clovis Cornillac, Audran Cattin, Isabelle Carré and Christian Hecq. Duration: 1 hour 50 minutes
What was this thing about again?
A father exasperated by his son's irresponsible behavior decides to make him believe that he has landed in the era of Louis XIV in order to instill in him the true values of life…
Why we almost threw up
A scenario without surprises, sloppy dialogues, actors who do tons and tons: nothing saves this complete failure. Even the main character quickly turns out to be unsympathetic. A disaster.
10. Chien & chat
Comedy by Reem Kherici. With Franck Dubosc, Reem Kherici, Philippe Lacheau, Inès Reg and Artus. Duration: 1 hour 26 minutes
What was this thing about again?
After losing their respective owners, a social media star cat and a former stray dog embark on an adventure to find them…
Why we almost threw up
It might be time to stop giving budgets to anyone: not only is it never funny, but also, the animation of the animals is completely repulsive. That this film could exist is, in itself, a mystery.
Bonus DVD
Constant Carbonnelle's flop 10
1. Chien&chat
2. Cocorico
3. 4 zeros
4. A roll of the dice
5. Jamais plus (It Ends with Us)
6. Terrifier 3
7. Venom : the last dance
8. Asphalt City
9. Largo Winch: the price of money
10. Phew love
Élise Lenaerts' flop 10
1. The minion
2. The green promise
3. 4 zeros
4. Venom : the last dance
5. It’s the world upside down
6. Red One
7. Joker: madness for two
8. Never without my therapist
9. The beast
10. Kinds of kindness
Michaël Degré's flop 10
1. Terrifier 3
2. 4 zeros
3. The kings of the track
4. Something in the Water
5. Old-fashioned
6. The Coubertin spirit
7. Gladiator II
8. The art of being happy
9. Emmanuelle
10. Le Comte de Monte-Cristo
The flop… 9 by Elli Mastorou
1. Golda
2. Daaaaaali!
3. Phew Love
4. Asphalt City
5. Bob Marley : One Love
6. Boneyard
7. Kinds of Kindness
8. Joker: madness for two
9. Club Zero
