Looking forward to Monday: Mr. Bayrou, I have to tell you that Mayotte is in France

Dear I-don't-know-tenth Prime Minister of the year 2024,

I told myself, when I started this column, that it was still stupid to wait for more than three decades for a job, a job that actually looks quite chic on one line of the CV and which obviously provides a good pension for old people. days (hello Bernard C., hello Lionel J., bigueupe Edith C.) and doing his business in the glue pot the very first week of taking office. No?

Not everyone has the ambition to one day be Prime Minister, it is true, Mr. High Commissioner for Planning, and we can even think that the year which has just passed must have convinced people by the handful to dream of other things for their existence. On the other hand, I can assure you, Mr. President of MoDem, that quite a few of us have had nightmares since you took up residence in Matignon.

Because for a guy who had ordered “François Bayrou – Prime Minister” business cards from the time of the francs, we still have to face the facts: you weren't super on point, Mr. President of the European Democratic Party. Finally, let's say that on certain points, you are undoubtedly the best among us, such as for example on the bad faith which makes you want to slam a whole Tomme des Pyrénées directly into your Richard Gere face ordered on Wish. Yeah there, as with the simplest excuse, there is a great mastery. A real shepherd who gathers his flock of stupid people with a whistle. You don't even need a mutt.

But on the rest, Mr. President of the Pau Béarn Pyrénées urban community, it's walou walou all the same. Like your level in geography, for example. Here is one who should have reserved swimming pool hours because he has reason to be ashamed of himself.

I understand that in a modern world made up of acronyms and acronyms, a sort of weird craft that the French administration cherishes and masters as if it were an AOP, and puts almost as much pride in it as if it were that of the Saint-Nectaire, it’s not easy to always understand everything. Like “EPR”, it is an acronym which designates both a European nuclear reactor and a French political party which supports a president with radioactive ideas. I understand that in these cases, we get bogged down a bit in Béarnaise.

But like the DOM-TOM, or DROM-COM as we say now, it's not super complex, right? As I remember, we learn this quite early in school. And at worst, as there is a map of France printed on all the desk pads of the French administration – desk pads which, by dint of accumulating, you must have an amazing collection –, you had something to start with. the page.

And even if all this had escaped you in seventy-three years, Mr. Mayor of Pau, life is good and three days before, there was Miss France to revise. You will have noticed that, due to lack of luck, there was no Miss Pau and that conversely, even if she did not win, a Miss Mayotte was indeed present, because no offense, Mayotte is in France .

Mayotte is France.
And France mourns its dead.
Wherever they come from.

Looking forward to Monday.