Many experts have revealed that parents need to stop doing one specific thing in front of their children!
On a daily basis, children's behavior is clearly influenced by that of their parents. And the least we can say is that there is one thing that these must not reproduce in their presence.
This behavior of parents impacts children
Children very often reproduce adults. This “mimetic reproduction”, well known to parents, finds its roots in a cerebral mechanism: mirror neurons. These cells are activated not only when an individual performs an action, but also when he watch someone else do it.
Please note that they play a very important role in learning by imitation and in social cognition. What parents do in front of their children has a direct impact on their behavior. But also on their development.
Thus, everyday hassles, such as a broken glass or a trivial disagreement, can easily provoke emotional reactions in parents. But these reactions, even if they seem insignificant at the time, can have very significant impact on children.
In her book “For a happy childhood”, pediatrician Catherine Gueguen confided on the subject. “When parents and adults around the child are respectful and empathetic, the child does the same”explained the opposite.
Before also adding: “Conversely, when these adults yell, hit and humiliate, the children also imitate them”. Thus, the emotions expressed by parents become models for children, which they reproduce in their own behavior.
“It can be very disturbing”
This therefore means that shouting or sudden gestures can lead to a tendency towards anger or violence in the child. While a calm and respectful attitude promotes similar behaviors.
Arguments between adults, particularly those that take place in front of children, are a major source of stress for them. In any case, this is what Rachida Raynaud, psychologist, clarified in Parents magazine.
“This is insecure, because they have difficulty understanding why their parents put themselves in this emotional state, with changes in voice, face, unusual cries”declared the expert on this subject.
And to specify: “It can be very disturbing to see them express this type of strong emotion”. When parents argue, they expose their children to emotions they are not not yet able to manage or understand.
“The child may not feel secure”
This then instantly breaks their “protective bubble”. It is an emotional safety zone in which children normally feel confident. If the disputes concern the child's education, the impact may be even more profound.
Indeed, be aware that this can clearly generate a feeling of guilt or confusion. And for good reason, the child will feel involved in these disagreements. A conflictual family environment can lead to long-term emotional problems in children.
“A conflictual family environment means that the child may not feel secure in his bond with his parents. This instability generates anxiety »explained psychologist Rachida Raynaud.
This state of insecurity can also affect the way the child expresses his anger on a daily basis. Rather than seeing it as a natural and healthy emotion, he could either repress it, or express it inappropriately.
However, know that anger plays a very important role. In fact, it simply represents a warning signal. Well managed, it allows problems to be identified and resolved. When parents model how to manage their anger constructively, they provide their children with valuable tools for their future lives.
Graduated from a major journalism school and I also have a diploma in aperitif preparation. I love writing and especially for Tuxboard, the team is really great and the subjects are very varied even if I prefer to write about the media and also fashion trends!
