“Growing up means accepting that some dreams will never blossom. »
Do you know who said that? It's me, right there… I wrote this sentence during the holidays, I told myself that I would start my column with it!
And that's the problem with vacations, it leaves you too much time to daydream and then you think the ideas you had are good… I'm sure the American electoral system, the pineapple pizza and Pascal Praud were born on a public holiday.
On the other hand, something I love doing when I have free time is playing table tennis… Because yes, despite my image of a virile young stud… I am a former table tennis player!
And at a high level, I trained every day and my best ranking was 17th best Swiss player… yeah, it's shocking… well then it was in the under-15s… There this What is shocking is knowing that in Switzerland, 17 teenagers under the age of 15 play table tennis every day… showing that loneliness among young people does not just end up in a paper towel.
And at the peak of my career, so around 13 and a half years old, what had to happen happened… you know, the cruciate ligaments, end of my table tennis career but not of the passion.
Besides, you will have noticed, if you listened to me, I say table tennis and not ping-pong, because I find the term “ping-pong” quite reductive… it is still the only sport where the name comes from the noise we make while practicing it… If you play tennis, you say “I do tennis”, not “I do “THE PUSSY THAT HE HAS, THE CHAAAATTE””. Yes, so this valve only works if you know Benoît Paire, otherwise it's annoying…
In short, during All Saints' Day, I watched table tennis and I saw the famous point of the year between the Lebrun brothers and I said to myself “if I get back into it seriously… there might be -be average in 1 year I'll smash them…”
And finally, I thought about it carefully, I had time, and I no longer wanted my job to be a “table tennis player”…
Good or bad situation, I don't know, but disgusting name, certainly!
I don't want to become a table tennis player anymore for a very simple reason: I care too much about my sex life…
No, but you have to say what is, table tennis is the least sexy sport, have you ever seen a calendar of naked table tennis players, especially not: keep your clothes and your lack of charisma, we want to see the least of them possible !
That's why it's a sport that goes quickly, when you're focused on a 4 cm ball you don't have time to see the players' physiques!
And it is for the opposite reason that we are going to ask Léon Marchand to now make 18 crossings of the Olympic basin: we don't care about the weather, ultimately go slower Léon, we will see you longer !
Whereas a table tennis player… that has never attracted anyone!
Ah, but personally, a woman has never whispered in my ear: “take me on the net, you dirty table tennis player!”
The hottest thing I've done in 10 years of training ping pong… is “spins”, but that's it!
No but ping isn't sexy, just look at the Lebrun brothers, I love them but you don't want to call them to shoot a porno, you want to call them to repair your wifi terminal and above all it doesn't get out of hand.
The rest to listen to and discover on video…
