Laughter as a weapon – RoseUp Association

All the way to your fingertips. This is the title of the show written, edited, carried and performed by Ludivine Vallaeys. In this piece, she recounts the nine months spent alongside her sister, Alexandra, affected by stomach cancer diagnosed at an advanced stage. Even if the characters on stage are named Selma and Garance, this is the true story of these two sisters. Ludivine/Garance looks back on the good and bad days they went through, and their unwavering complicity until the death of Alexandra/Selma, in 2019, at the age of 44.

The fight was merciless, and yet not a day without laughter. Until the last hour, until the final goodbye. Because it was, always, their way of communicating, of being together. And, above all, their way of being in the world. Ludivine says: “ The last weeks of her life, Alexandra had to wear a diaper. She said to me: “It’s easy, I don’t even have to get out of bed!” Rather than seeing it as a pathetic and humiliating scene, we made it a non-event by joking about it. »

Denial of reality?

A memory that sums up the line of her show well: a crest line where she advances between raw emotions and bursts of laughter. “ When a tile falls on us, the alternative is simple: either we mope and become depressed, or we bounce back immediately and do something about it,” summarizes the author and actress. The weapon of laughter rather than tears of pity or sadness. We find this same state of mind in Caroline, 45, faced with breast cancer diagnosed in 2020 : “I thought: either things are going to go well and, in five years, I’m still here. Either these are my last moments on earth, and there is no point in experiencing them in a dramatic way. So, on to Guingamp! you might as well enjoy it even if it’s not going to be fun all the time! » Denial of reality? No, analyzes Sophie Lantheaume, psycho-oncologist at the Drôme-Ardèche private hospital: “In this context, humor must really be understood as a powerful tool to help the patient adapt to the reality they are experiencing. And to help him cope with the emotional challenges that the illness and treatments bring. » Or, as Caroline expresses it in her own words: “Joking is a way of not letting yourself be bothered by the beast!” »

As soon as her treatment protocol began, she had the feeling, like so many other patients, of entering a parallel dimension where everything escaped her. For example, during radiotherapy sessions: “ We find ourselves alone, in a room whose walls are a meter thick, lying on a table, our bare chests with lots of little hieroglyphs tattooed on them… » These signs materialize the targets targeted by the rays, and of course there is no question of moving! Suffice it to say that we are not leading the way! But, sometimes, a detail can completely defuse the seriousness of the situation. Like that day when, in the middle of a session, Caroline heard music in the background: “ And, at one point, I heard Serge Lama bellow: “I’m sick!” I burst out laughing. » So: interruption of the session, time to let the laughter pass…

A natural anxiolytic

« By looking for something to laugh about despite illness, patients can regain a feeling of autonomy and power over their well-being. Humor helps reinforce feelings of control », deciphers Sophie Lantheaume. Abrasive sometimes, often offbeat, this is the humor that Ludivine willingly practices. So, during the vigil for her sister’s body, as no one knew what to say, she ended up putting her foot down: “ I said: “Okay, Alex! the joke has gone on long enough. She walked well, we cried well, now: stand up!” We all laughed. »

If according to Ludivine this moment of shared joy allowed Alexandra’s loved ones to “ then collect oneself more authentically “, this way of approaching situations must be handled with caution, warns the Belgian psychiatrist Christophe Panichelli (author of Laughter Therapy): ” Using humor systematically, being in on the joke all the time, can become a way of avoiding confronting the situation and stopping managing it. » Self-deprecation also, when it becomes caustic, is like the soda of the same name: it is acidic, corrosive and can burn deeply. So: be careful not to go too far, for your own balance, but also with regard to those around you, particularly when you practice an uncompromising, absurd or dark form of humor. If they are likely to bring to their author “ temporary relief from the absurdity of life, underlines Sophie Lantheaumethese jokes may seem illogical or disconnected from the reality of the moment to the people around “. These precautions taken, the fact remains that humor is also, and perhaps above all, a “ natural anxiolytic », according to the expression of Christophe Panichelli, who specifies: “ This is a very effective way to reduce anxiety while continuing to face the situation. And we really need it when we have cancer, because there is an urgent need to treat ourselves in the best possible way. »

As good as an orgasm

What happens when we laugh? Well ! first of all, faced with a funny situation, an incongruous word, the brain detects an inconsistency between what is happening and what should have happened, and “ as long as this incongruity does not present a danger for oneselfexplains Sylvie Chokron, neuropsychologist, research director at the CNRS and author of In the Brain of…, this triggers a cascade of events in the brain which will produce a physical reaction: laughter, or even a burst of laughter. » A phenomenon that mobilizes more than 400 muscles! A real gym session, which ultimately results in “ muscle relaxation, bodily relaxation, and physical well-being “. Studies have shown that it has a beneficial effect on the pain or anxiety created by worries, because the attention is captured by something other than illness, suffering, sadness.

The explanation for this phenomenon? It is to be found on the side of our hormones. A good laugh causes the release of endorphins. The same ones that overwhelm us during sustained physical exercise, after an orgasm, and after a good laugh (which it is not forbidden to combine!). They are a powerful painkiller. And, combined with dopamine – which is also called the “pleasure hormone” – and serotonin – often called the “happiness hormone” – they offer us a beneficial cocktail that leaves us in a state of fullness.

For Séverine, a 51-year-old Marseillaise, it’s very simple: “ Humor is a medicine in its own right in the patient’s journey. » The famous analgesic effect of laughter, she literally experienced it. Three days after her mastectomy, and while her drain was causing her pain, she says “ having had a laugh » with the nurse who came to visit her at home every day. Séverine said to the caregiver: “ Don’t make any noise, there’s an Indian sleeping in the living room! » – it was true, an Indian friend had come to keep him company after his operation. Shared laughter: “ I had tears flowing, I held the scar because it hurt me to laugh and, at the same time, it made me feel so good, to the point of forgetting the initial pain. » « We come back to life when we laugh », she concludes.

In this game, as we have already said, it is preferable to have partners on the same wavelength. Mathilde, a 26-year-old from Lyon, suffering from brain tumors, had to “ working your friend on the body » to encourage him to joke with her. But now it works: He even manages to clash with me about my illness. When it does, I say to myself: “It’s okay, he understood!” » On the other hand, it doesn’t work as well with his parents or his little sister, for whom joking about his illness always remains a red line. She therefore abstains in their presence. Séverine does not have this limit, humor is part of her family’s DNA: “ We are crazy! » she laughs. The head of his father-in-law sporting a “ little cancer hat » to accompany him to his first chemo session remains engraved in his memory. And, every time she thinks about it, she laughs about it again.

A wave of love

Of course, not everyone has the screw comical ! And, even if we have it, like everyone else we can have “ from time to time his little “bad” moments », recognizes Caroline. No reason to feel guilty about not (always) being a happy girl! We can leave that to others, or just be a spectator of their fun and benefit from the contamination effect of a little shot of endorphins and other dopamines! Séverine, who shares – in a humorous way – her experience of cancer on her Instagram account (@ptitenounoune), is notably followed by a woman who is terribly distressed by the disease and the treatments. To the Instagrammer, the latter wrote that she envied her way of being, and that her “ antics » did her good, but she herself was incapable of it. @ptitenounoune’s other subscribers, sick or not, often tell him the same thing. “ By talking about the illness in my own way, I received a phenomenal wave of love », rejoices Séverine.

If good humor remains – despite everything – among absent subscribers, why not take part in a “rigology” workshop (see box)? Ludivine Bouix- Maillet hosts it for all kinds of audiences. At the Drôme-Ardèche private hospital, she worked with oncology patients. Combining, among other things, positive psychology, sophrology and laughter yoga, these sessions offer different exercises. For example a “pride march”, where participants are invited to parade (if they wish) as if they were walking the red carpet of the Cannes Film Festival. Which gives them confidence and inevitably sparks joy. “ Those who said they had difficulty letting go admitted that laughing with others had helped them and that they had derived a lot of well-being from it. », notes the host. We can also, quite simply, train ourselves to create positive emotions of all kinds. “ According to studies, it takes three positive emotions to counteract one negative emotion », explains Sophie Lantheaume. It can be simple things like kissing a tree, listening to a pulsing song, dancing in your living room, biting into chocolate… so many opportunities to “ release dopamine », assure Nicole Chokron.