In a powerful podcast series, Cogeco journalist Bénédicte Lebel gives voice to survivors of attempted femicide. Powerful testimonies that allow us to better understand the cycle of violence in a marital context.
Posted at 5:30 a.m.
I spent part of last weekend with Sabrina, Gabrielle and Anita. These women have all survived attempted femicide. With headphones screwed on, I walked the streets of my neighborhood listening to the podcast in which they recount the time they almost died at the hands of their partner. Stories that send shivers down your spine.
You may have seen journalist Bénédicte Lebel at Everyone is talking about itlast Sunday. She was there with Sabrina Bélair-Dubois, one of the courageous people who agreed to tell their story.
Confession: I am a big fan of the work of Bénédicte Lebel, who can be heard in the morning on my colleague Patrick Lagacé’s show at 98.5 in Montreal. I like the way she covers legal cases, and news stories in general, with this grain of emotion in her voice. She tells us terrible things with empathy, without ever falling into sensationalism or melodrama.
It was this empathy that motivated her to create the podcast series. “Every time I covered a feminicide, I told myself that I was missing something,” she explains. We go to see friends, neighbors, experts, but there is one part that remains unanswered. We are missing the essence of what happened, the women’s version. »
Femicides on the rise
According to the United Nations, 85,000 women were killed by a man in 2023. Murdered BECAUSE they were women. That’s one victim every 10 minutes. In Quebec, 2024 is not yet over and there are already 24 feminicides. This is 6 more than last year.
I met Bénédicte on Monday, the International Day Against Violence Against Women, in the company of Maryse Filion, a survivor who testifies in the fourth episode of the series. In 2014, the spouse of Mme Filion stabbed her five times. It’s a miracle that she is still alive today when we know that the knife reached the pericardium, the membrane that surrounds the heart…
Before the fatal moment which almost cost Maryse Filion her life, a series of behaviors had taken hold, says this fifty-year-old with a bright smile. Registered for a flight attendant course, she eats with a pilot one lunchtime. When his partner finds out, his behavior becomes oppressive. “He told me: ‘I’ll go with you, I’ll do the transport, you’ll be less tired. I’ll prepare your lunch, you’ll come eat it in the car with me,” even though it was winter at the time. I saw it as a loving gesture, but it was a controlling gesture that took away power over my life. »
This is called coercive control, or constant stalking and harassment. Behaviors that could soon be punishable by law if Bill C-332 amending the Criminal Code (coercive control of an intimate partner) is adopted in Parliament.
Bénédicte Lebel is convinced that the testimonies of these four women allow us to better understand the stages that lead to feminicides. However, understanding also means preventing.
Not an improvised gesture
The podcast also helps to deconstruct the myth of the aggressor’s loss of control, of the impulsive act committed out of anger. “It’s not an argument and then suddenly it escalates, the man sees red and he stabs his partner,” explains Bénédicte. There are things that settle in gradually. In Gabrielle’s case, her attacker drove two hours. In Sabrina’s case, he had planned to have the children looked after. In Anita’s case, he did some research on the internet. »
The journalist recalls that femicides almost always take place in a context of separation, imminent separation or questioning of the relationship.
Maryse Filion considers that it is her mission, from now on, to raise awareness about domestic violence. “I want my story to be useful. »
In 10 years, she notices that things have evolved. Starting with the vocabulary. “We are no longer talking about passionate or family drama, but about femicide,” she emphasizes.
“And when the attacker misses his shot, we specify that it is an attempted femicide. It’s important to name things,” adds Bénédicte Lebel.
Another heartbreaking thing that we understand intimately when listening to these women tell us the tragedy that turned their lives upside down is that nothing will ever be over. We cannot put an attempted femicide behind us. “We learn to live with it, it’s part of us,” Maryse confirms to me, who would like us to also pay attention to the victim’s loved ones who are also experiencing the repercussions of this tragedy.
The lives of all these people will forever be jeopardized by the violence they suffered. And by the fear that the attacker will resurface.
The first two episodes of the podcast The night I almost died are available on the 98.5 website, in the Paul Arcand space. The other three episodes will be released every Monday until December 16.
The 12 days of action against violence against women continue until December 6, the day of commemoration of the 35e anniversary of the Polytechnique massacre.
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