the fight of Valentin, 25, to raise awareness of school bullying

“Too few harassers speak out.” Valentin Vitti experienced school bullying on both sides of the fence, in his college in the Paris region, around fifteen years ago. After having harassed several classmates from 6th to 4th grade, he was in turn harassed in 3rd grade. For several years, he has used his reputation as an influencer to raise awareness among young people about this scourge. At 25, he is the godfather of the second volume of the manga The invisible battles, published by Editions Dupuis, at the end of October.

“To realize that I was a harasser, the word already had to exist”insists Valentin. “The words harassment, harasser, harassed and victim of harassment are not words that we utter” in 2011, when he arrived at college, recalls the young man. “The word cyberharassment was used even less”, he adds.

In the midst of the emergence of social networks, it was however on Facebook that he mainly acted: “I had an account under a pseudonym. I was never violent verbally or physically but I was mocking. And it's important, too, not to minimize the mockery.”

At this time, Valentin understands that what he puts other students through is “bad”. He has “aware that, sometimes, it goes a little too far”, he said. “But it was only very late that I realized that I had been a stalker.” Today, he prefers not to mention precisely what he did to certain comrades but assures that he contacted several of them to apologize.

The young man wishes to point out that the notion of harassment does not depend on the feelings of the executioner but on those of the victim: “There are people who can rightly consider that after the second joke, it can be considered harassment. From the moment the person no longer wants something to continue, we consider it harassment.”

A definition which seems obvious but which some still have difficulty perceiving according to him: “There are bullies who are capable of watching a documentary on bullying at school and saying to themselves: 'But what horror, it's really horrible what they put children through,' without realizing that 'They are harassers themselves.'

“I speak to help, to raise awareness, to prevent. And to try to find a little redemption in what I was able to do.”

Valentin Vitti

at franceinfo

Valentine wants “that harassers become aware and feel guilty because they are guilty of what they put people through. There are many harassers who ignore themselves. I find it extremely important to take a step back while there is still time. If you are acting, if you have even one doubt, there is no doubt.”

He also attempts to explain the mechanisms that push certain students to harass: “No one wakes up one morning and says, 'Hey, I'm going to be a stalker today.' It's not a vocation. Many harassers are a little unwilling, because they are convinced that there is a social dilemma between being the hammer or being the nail. I was convinced that was the case.”

The personal, intra-family and social situations of certain children also add to this mechanism: “It would be tricky and complicated to address the harasser as if he were a victim because that is not the case. He is not the victim of the harassment he is subjecting to, but he may be the victim of many other things.” A factor to take into account when supporting harassers: “Rather than going up to a harasser and asking, 'Why are you harassing?' You have to ask him how things are going at home, try to understand why he harasses, what processes are going on in his head.”

“If someone had listened to me, if they had asked me how things were going at home, maybe I would have reacted differently, maybe I would not have acted,” continues Valentin. He also draws attention to the group effect: “There are very few solo, individual harassers. Moreover, it was precisely when I arrived in 3rd grade, in a class where I knew no one, that I found myself alone and harassed.” A way for him to emphasize that “It is not because we are, for a time, a harasser, that we do not become harassed.”

To identify situations that should raise alarms, he gives advice to relevant adults: “CWhat needs to be identified are isolated people and people who are in too many groups. Usually it works like that.”

“If you're being harassed, speak up. If you're a harasser, speak up. We won't hold it against you.”

Valentin Vitti

at franceinfo

His message is also, of course, addressed to victims of harassment: “Talking to an adult is one thing, but talking to all adults is even better. It's even going beyond talking about it, maybe even shouting it, if you can.”

He believes that the solutions proposed by educational establishments are not sufficient: “Currently, the solution we find for harassers is to have a disciplinary council and sometimes to expel them. They will end up in a new middle school, a new high school, a new primary school, whatever. And then finally the problem is transposed elsewhere, that is to say that one victim will feel better but there is another who will be attacked.

Despite his career and his involvement in the fight against school bullying, Valentin is quite pessimistic for the years to come: “JI am absolutely convinced that harassment will never disappear. I know that it will decrease and this mainly involves speaking out, getting victims to talk about it before it is too late. We must always raise awareness and prevent. I believe that there is no miracle recipe against harassment. I don't think there will ever be one, unless we convince people that we need to talk about it.” Part of the funds raised from the sale of the manga The invisible battles will be donated to the e-Enfance association which sponsors the work.

To report any situation of harassment or cyberharassment, whether you are a victim or a witness, there is a free, anonymous and confidential telephone number: 3018(New window)reachable 7 days a week, from 9 a.m. to 11 p.m., as well as an application(New window).. Other information is also available at the website of the Ministry of National Education(New window).