It’s a concept that was born in Switzerland in 2004. Discussion groups to discuss death and mourning in a bar over a drink. In Nantes, Couëron, Guérande, these Apéros de la mort are full every month.
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At 6:30 p.m., the café is closed, but there are around ten of them pushing through the door… We observe each other, we wonder with our eyes: “Are you here for the aperitif of death?”
After a few minutes, the taboo is broken. Yes, there are around ten of them who met at 6:30 p.m. on a Thursday in a bar in Nantes to talk about their bereavements, or simply to listen.
A father, a mother, a child, a brother, a grandmother, everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one. But no one knows each other.
For Stéphane, who came from Rennes, it is liberating: “The fact that they are strangers allows you to say things that you wouldn’t dare say to your loved ones, depending on a certain culture, generational perhaps… I think that allows you to go in the footsteps of a search for answers to questions that one could not ask with loved ones.
Marine Nina Denis, co-host of the discussion group, confirms: “QWhen you talk to your friends, your family, your entourage, we put on a bit of a social mask and the fact of coming to a place like that where people don’t know us and don’t know what we do for a living, that allows us to speak more freely.”
Participants in the “death aperitifs” meet when the café closes for 2 hours of discussions around mourning.
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© France Télévisions/ JM Lallier
Séverin experienced the death of his mother 20 years ago. Today, he has turned it into a strength. “I survived and nothing can happen to me anymorehe explains. On the other hand, it made me hypersensitive to the deaths of others. Each time, there is something that lights up in me when someone around me is experiencing grief. I’m putting myself on leave because I feel like I’m experiencing part of what he’s going through.”
Everyone nods. Many of them feel this empathy. “I find it rich to see everyone’s experiences, Laurianne analysis. It’s interesting to see how everyone goes through things, how everyone perceives things. It also allows you to reflect a little on yourself.”
The objective of these evenings is also to break the taboo that exists around death. Marine Nina Denis has been a thanadoula for a year. She supports people at the end of their lives and those experiencing bereavement.
“I think there are beliefs and a little superstition, she explains. We say to ourselves thatTalking about death means that potentially, death will happen. Me, II wanted to free up speech because technically, it’s something we’re going to experience at some point. For me, life and death are linked. They go together and it’s important to treat them the same way, without taboos.”
The next Apéros de la mort will take place at Les Herbiers on October 16, in Guérande on October 28 and November 18, in Couëron on November 7, and in Nantes on November 14.
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